


The Multiverse Theory

by TigStripe



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Barry Allen & Kara Danvers - Freeform, Caitlin Snow - Freeform, F/M, Gorilla Grodd - Freeform, Guilt, Joe West - Freeform, John Diggle - Freeform, M/M, Mutual Pining, Mutual Slow Burn, Oliver/Felicity - Freeform, Polyamory, Self-Doubt, Slow Burn, Subconscious Sabotage, Visiting Other Earths, Wise John Diggle, Wise Kara Danvers, cisco ramon - Freeform, denying feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-08-26 07:16:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 32,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16677076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TigStripe/pseuds/TigStripe
Summary: Can a single concept be resilient enough to span the multiverse?





	1. Earth 47

“Made it,” Cisco announced. “Huh. Doesn’t look too different.”

Well, the skies were definitely the same: same cloud formations, same color blue, same light wind whipping across the docks. The city’s skyline looked familiar, too. It wasn’t so different that it was noticeable, anyway. Even the noise of the bustling traffic and the smells of the pier were the same.

But Barry just couldn’t shake the sensation that something was _very_ different here than on Earth 1.

“It’s nothing like stepping out onto Earth 2,” Barry agreed. He noticed the chill of the cross-breeze from the harbor and rubbed his arms through his jacket. “Can we get moving? It’s freezing out here.”

The two of them began their trek into Central City, their mission still in the forefront of their minds.

 

 _“He’s_ where _?!” He, Cisco, and Caitlin sat in the Cortex opposite one very annoyed Gypsy, who hadn’t yet looked directly at Cisco._

_“Earth 47, evidently.” Gypsy’s arms were crossed, her expression crosser._

_Cisco recognized that sound - the sound of sheer irritation. “What’s wrong with Earth 47?”_

_“Bounty hunters aren’t allowed there,” she replied. “It’s actually a federal law that otherworldly hunters can’t be there.”_

_“So go anyway,” Cisco quipped, “it’s not like you guys do things by the books most of the time, anyway.”_

_“I would, but even breaching there sets off an alarm.”_

_“So why come to us?” Caitlin asked. “Cisco breaches, the same as you. He’ll set off the alarm, too.”_

_The corner of Gypsy’s mouth turned up in a half-smirk. “That’s where you’re wrong. We don’t know why, but Cisco’s breaching generates a slightly different energy signature than anyone on my Earth. We discovered it one day while we were doing some combat drills for my dad.”_

_“Oh, yeah.” Cisco smiled, relishing the happy memory with his ex. “Good times.”_

_“So, you’ll go and snatch Grodd for us?” Gypsy batting her eyes at Cisco._

_Cisco’s smile evaporated. Barry noticed, and answered in his place. “Yeah, sure, we’ll get him.”_

_“I know it’s hard for you to see me right now, Cisco,” Gypsy said with a downcast look, “and it’s not very easy for me, either, but this is really important. You guys have a Grodd, so you know how dangerous it is to have him on some other Earth, plotting.”_

_Cisco avoided her eyes directly, but gave a curt nod. “I know. It’s not a big deal. We’ll get him.”_

 

“You don’t think he’s just chilling in the sewers like ours did,” Cisco suggested. When Barry didn’t say anything, he shrugged. “Yeah, me neither.”

“You’ve been on more Earths than me,” Barry said, giving the skyline one last once over, “what kind of changes can we expect?”

Cisco didn’t look particularly excited as he answered. “Could be anything. Humans could have blue skin, or the rain here is actually chocolate milk, or -”

“Is that a real world?” Barry interrupted, his eyes wide.

“Nah, just the manifestation of pure chaos.”

“Anything on the tracker?”

Cisco looked at the small monitor in his hands. He toggled it on and held it out a little, but nothing happened. He shook his head. “I would expect it to have tachyon readings from our breach, but it’s not doing anything yet. I guess my breaches really are a little different, after all.”

“Okay. Well, let’s get started.”

Barry led the way into the city, Cisco close on his tail, their eyes and ears open. A few hours later, they stood outside the CCPD building, empty handed. Barry stood with his hands in his pockets, sighing as he ran over other possibilities in his head. Cisco waved the tracker around a bit, but received no response.

“This isn’t getting us anywhere,” Cisco muttered, shaking the tracker like that would fix it. “Any ideas?”

“I wish Gypsy had told us anything about their Grodd,” Barry replied with another sigh. “We’re out here, shooting blind. This is going to take us forever.”

“Barry!”

Barry looked up the steps leading to the police station and his mouth fell slightly open at the sight before him. He felt a clenching in his chest as the rugged blonde visage of Eddie Thawne approached them, his eyes bright and his grin wide.

“Barry! I didn’t know you were back already!” Eddie pulled Barry into a hug, which Barry hesitantly returned. Barry’s eyes stung a little as Eddie pulled back. “How was the honeymoon?”

“I, uh-” Barry cleared his throat. “The honeymoon?” He shot a glance at Cisco, who shrugged. “Oh, it was, uh…”

Eddie gave him a mischievous but understanding smirk. “I get it. Don’t kiss and tell.”

“Uh, right.”

“And Cisco, great to see you too, pal.” Eddie shook Cisco’s hand with vigor, the latter still in a stunned silence.

Barry swallowed the lump in his throat, feeling his chest loosen ever so slightly. “Hey, Eddie, I actually could use your help for a second,” he said. “Has anyone gone missing recently, or mentioned a big gorilla running loose?”

Eddie chuckled. “What, Grodd? Nah. Grodd’s been gone for months, remember?”

Barry shrugged. “Right. Just thought I’d check.”

“Well, I’m on my way home,” Eddie said, clapping Barry on the back. “Iris is waiting. I’ll see you both around, yeah?”

“Count on it,” Cisco said with a smirk.

“Right,” Barry said, his heart sinking into his stomach. Eddie briskly vacated the steps, leaving the two of them to stare after him in shared disbelief.

“He said Iris was waiting for him,” Barry muttered. He looked over at Cisco. “Eddie and Iris stayed together on this Earth. But evidently, I’m _married_.”

“I, dunno, man, he could have been pulling your chain.”

“You heard him, Cisco. He sounded genuine.”

“Okay, but don’t panic. This isn’t our timeline being messed up. It’s not _your_ life, it’s someone else’s. Remember Earth 2 you?”

Barry took a deep breath. That’s right - he’s been through this before.

“Right. Thanks.” He paused, looking down the street in the direction Eddie had gone. “It’s still okay that I get choked up whenever I see him, right?”

Cisco’s answer came as a reassuring hand on Barry’s shoulder.

“Maybe we should try to find one of us to see if we can get some help with finding Grodd,” Cisco suggested. “We’re obviously around, and in good enough graces with Eddie to be allies with the CCPD.”

“Let’s try your place,” Barry offered, “since I’m evidently on a honeymoon.”

Cisco led Barry to where he lived on _their_ Earth, only to find it taken by a little old lady with way too many quilts stacked around her place. With that option struck, they checked Caitlin’s house, which was empty. Out of other options, Barry suggested one last option.

“Let’s check Joe’s house.”

“Seems valid.” Cisco stopped, concerned. “What about Iris? What if she’s there, visiting?”

“It’s someone else’s life, right? So, no big deal.”

“Okay. Your call.”

“Let’s go.”

A few minutes later, Barry skid to a stop with Cisco in tow right outside of Joe’s house. The lights were on, at least, which was promising.

Barry stepped up to the front door and rapped on it. After a few seconds, it opened, revealing the smiling, bright eyes of one Joe West, a wide grin plastered across his face.

“ _Barry!_ You’re back!” He pulled Barry into a hug, which Barry returned quickly.

“Uh, Joe,” Barry tried, but Joe interrupted him.

“I’m glad to see you, but I have to say, I’m a little confused. You just left on your honeymoon two days ago.” He looked around. “Where’s Oliver?”

Barry raised an eyebrow. “Oliver?”

Joe gave Barry a concerned look. “You feeling okay, son?”

“Uh, about that-”

Joe’s eyebrows lifted high. “You didn’t have a bad honeymoon, did you? You _are_ still married?”

Barry shook his head. “Joe, stop. Can we come inside for a minute?”

“Of course!” Joe ushered them in and over to the couch. Barry couldn’t help but notice the house looked more bachelor-ish than he remembered.

“Is it just you here?” Barry asked.

There was a pregnant silence, and Barry got the sinking feeling he had just poked a sleeping beast.

They sat in the living room, and Barry leaned onto his knees, looking Joe over. “Joe, did anyone tell you about the multiverse theory?”

Joe gave a one-armed shrug. “Well, sure, but that doesn’t mean I follow it very well.”

Barry smiled. That made this easier. “I’m not your Barry.”

Joe’s eyes narrowed as he looked Barry’s face over. “You’re not.”

“Nope. We’re from another Earth.”

Joe leaned forward, his face serious. “Barry, if you’re making things up because your honeymoon went south-”

“I’m being serious, Joe.”

Joe took several moments to scrutinize Barry’s face, then flashed over to Cisco, who just sat with a significant look on his face. Finally, the detective gave a deep sigh as he leaned back in his seat. “Oh, thank God.”

“You believe me?” Barry gave a tentative smile.

“It’s the only thing that makes sense, other than some impersonation meta,” Joe said, rubbing his face in exasperation. “I just can’t see you breaking off your marriage after two days.”

Barry’s confusion spoke through his expression. “Yeah, about that, who am I married to? On my Earth, it’s Iris.”

Joe’s eyes widened and he laughed. “ _What?_ That’s ridiculous!” He kept laughing for a few moments.

“I have to admit, I’m curious, too,” Cisco admitted. “We ran into Eddie earlier, and he mentioned the honeymoon, as well.”

“Well, I’m sure he was surprised to see you so soon. It’s not every day someone as high profile as Oliver Queen gets married,” Joe said with a shrug.

Barry sat in stunned silence, while Cisco failed at holding back a laugh.

“Oliver Queen.” Barry just stared at Joe, who wasn’t laughing. “Barry Allen is married to Oliver Queen.”

“Did he hyphenate?” Cisco asked, still laughing. Barry shot him a dirty look.

“Actually, he did,” Joe muttered. “Bartholomew Henry Allen-Queen. But I don’t see what’s so funny about this. Love is no joke, boys.”

“Not laughing at them,” Cisco replied, “I’m just comparing it to how unlikely it would be on our Earth.”

Joe shrugged. “Well, I don’t pretend to know how all this multiverse stuff works, but if it happens on one Earth, who says it’s not something that is possible across all of them?”

Cisco’s laughter died off at this, and Barry realized he couldn’t refute that. He’d never thought of Oliver romantically, but - if things had gone differently for both of them - it _was_ something that, technically, could have happened.

“Huh.” Barry gave a little nod. “I never thought of it like that.”

Joe pointed at each of them. “So, what are you two doing here?”

 

“This isn’t going to be weird at all,” Barry muttered under his breath as he and Cisco made their way to the clock tower on the south side of town. Joe had managed to contact Earth 47 Barry, who insisted on returning and helping them find and trap Grodd, against Joe’s wishes. According to Earth 47 Barry, he and his beau would be back in Central City within the hour.

Joe had also managed to get in touch with Earth 47 Caitlin, who manned the consoles back at STAR Labs. It didn’t take her long to pinpoint a strange radiation spike on the south side of town, consistent with the tachyons that were created with breaching technology. Confirmation emanated from Cisco’s tracker as the two of them approached the clock tower.

“Looks like Magilla’s around here after all,” Cisco announced, observing the monitor in his hands. “Tachyons everywhere. It was a recent breach.”

“Do you think he’s still here?” Barry asked.

Cisco shook his head. “There’s no way to know.” He looked up, confused. “Did Gypsy mention _how_ their Grodd wound up with breach capability?”

After a moment of reflection, Barry shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

“It’s possible they have technology that allows for breaching,” Caitlin said over their comms. “It’s pretty common on our world, so it could be even easier to access on another Earth.”

“He also could have found one _on_ this world,” Cisco added. “So, until we can get eyes on the gorilla, we can’t be sure he’s here.”

There was a flash of light and suddenly Barry stood face to face with another version of the Flash, in a slightly darker red suit, with the Green Arrow in tow. He looked them up and down. They didn’t _look_ like they were married. Did they?

“Welcome to the party, Mr. and Mr. Queen,” Cisco said with a wave. The other Barry smiled and Oliver nodded.

“Joe told us pretty much everything,” Oliver said. “Oh, and to avoid confusion,” he jerked his head at his Barry. “Our Barry goes by Henry.”

“He does?” Barry asked in surprise.

Henry shifted his weight, seemingly a little nervous. “My father died when I was little. I started going by my middle name back in middle school to honor him.”

Barry smiled sadly. “Sorry to hear that, Henry. I know he’d be proud of you.”

Henry gave a tentative smile, but Oliver spoke up. “So what’s the plan, Mr. Allen?”

“There isn’t much of one,” Cisco said. He held up his tracker, which was still showing a nearby cluster of tachyon energy. “We need eyes on Grodd so I can send him back to his world, but not before we get rid of whatever tech he’s using to breach.”

“Grodd made it here through a breach, but it evidently didn’t trigger any kind of alarms like we were told you had,” Barry noted. “Any thoughts on that?”

Henry shook his head. “We don’t have any kind of breach alarms here. Breaching is common knowledge tech, but it’s still privatized and locked away.”

Cisco gave Barry a shaky look. “Gypsy lied to us?” Barry saw the hurt in his eyes. He couldn’t find any words that would help.

Oliver shifted his bow to the other hand. “Unfortunate, but unrelated. We need eyes on the inside. Let’s get this show on the road.”

“You ready, babe?” Henry asked, swinging his arms in preparation.

Oliver grinned. “You know it.”

Barry could barely even register what was happening as Henry snatched up Oliver and made a dash for the clock tower. Barry watched them encircle the highest part of the tower, with Oliver firing arrows in through several windows, before they returned to the street. Barry was impressed - the two had known exactly what they needed to do, in the blink of an eye. That kind of teamwork was impressive, to say the least.

“Okay, I’m getting the visuals from the cameras Oliver just fired,” Caitlin announced into Barry’s ear. “Everything’s clear...wait! Grodd’s still there!” Barry heard some feverish typing as Caitlin accessed more video footage. “Fifth floor, north side, in a storage room. He’s...tinkering with something.”

“Is it a breach device?” Cisco asked.

“I can’t see, his back is to the camera. But whatever you do, be careful. We’re all familiar with the mind control capabilities of Gorilla Grodd, right?”

Everyone’s silence was a grim confirmation.

“Speed is our ally,” Oliver said over the comms. “We need to take him out before he can take control of any of us. Mr. Allen, you and Mr. Ramon breach into the room while Henry and I attack him from the front. Hopefully, the speed of our attacks will be enough to disorient him long enough to get rid of the breaching tech. After that, Mr. Ramon, you know what you need to do.”

“Got it,” Cisco said.

Barry couldn’t help but smile. Was Earth 1’s Oliver this on top of things, too? If he was, how had Barry never noticed?

“All right, gentlemen,” Oliver warned, “let’s go.”

Barry watched Oliver as he knocked an arrow on his bow right as Henry reached for him, and soon they were rushing up the side of the building. A breach opened in front of Barry’s eyes, and he and Cisco jumped forth without hesitation. In the blink of even a speedster’s eye, they were in a crowded storage room with a mammoth of a gorilla looming over a workbench, facing away from them. The gorilla perked up and began to turn toward the sound of the breach.

Barry felt the Speed Force rush through him as he dashed for Grodd’s hands, snatching a small silver device and thrusting it into the wall at full speed, destroying it in a shower of slow-moving sparks. Still modified by his super speed, Barry scanned the room as Henry and Oliver entered through a window. Oliver let loose two arrows at once, one which began to unfurl mid-air into the form of a giant net, the other still tethered to something on Oliver’s body.

Barry destroyed everything he could on the workbench, finishing up just as the net-arrow enveloped the gorilla fully. Using the tethered arrow, Henry coiled a second set of wire around the beast several dozen times over as Barry allowed normal reaction time to take over. With a sudden snap, the tethered line tightened, and, combined with the net, rendered Grodd physically harmless. As the gorilla started to pitch forward, unable to easily break its reinforced restrains, Cisco raised his hands to aim at the floor underneath.

“ _Now!_ ” Barry shouted, right as Grodd tore a forearm away from his torso, ripping several binding cords at once.

A massive breach appeared directly underneath the gorilla, and he fell, still entangled by Oliver’s dual archery, into the swirling vortex of energy before Cisco closed it, leaving the four of them standing in an otherwise unoccupied storage room in a resounding silence.

“That was _amazing_ ,” Cisco said in a hushed tone.

“It was so clean,” Barry said with a laugh.

“Is that not what missions are like in your world?” Oliver asked, his arm still around Henry’s shoulders.

Barry gave a nervous laugh. No, they certainly weren’t.

“Great job, babe.” Henry leaned over at gave Oliver a quick kiss on the cheek. Barry could feel himself blushing.

“Good job guys,” Caitlin said, her voice high with excitement. “That was a potential disaster, avoided, and with gusto!”

Oliver approached and put his hand on Barry’s shoulder. He gave the speedster warm smile, his eyes intense, but kind, and Barry’s face warmed even further. “You guys did great.” Barry couldn’t help but smile back.

“I still wonder why Gypsy said she couldn’t do this herself,” Cisco wondered out loud.

“Whatever the reason, I’m sure it wasn’t personal.”

“How do you know?” Cisco asked.

“The way you said her name earlier,” Oliver replied, looking over at the breacher. “You’ve been hurt by her, but not maliciously. Romantically, probably. You’re close to her. You’re friends. I’m sure she didn’t send you here with some dubious intent.”

“Wow,” Cisco chuckled. “Is our Oliver that smart, Barry?”

Barry crossed his arms and looked Oliver up and down, impressed. “I’m not sure,” he admitted, “but I’m beginning to see why I married him.” Barry winked at Henry, who just laughed.

“Well, I guess this is goodbye,” Cisco said. “It was great meeting you. And congratulations again. Tell Joe we said thanks for his help.”

“Thanks,” Henry said, giving an informal salute. “Happy travels.”

“And good luck with Gypsy,” Oliver said, patting Cisco on the shoulder right before Henry picked him up and rushed up a wall and out a window.

With a sigh, Cisco reached up and opened a breach home. He looked over at Barry. “Time to get going, huh?”

Barry smiled, but something nagged at the back of his mind. “Yeah.”

“You and Oliver. That’s just _weird_ ,” Cisco said with a laugh. He moved toward the breach, standing at the ready.

As Barry stepped up to the vortex, he couldn’t help but feel a little twinge in his chest. The image of Earth 47 Oliver popped up in his mind - kind eyes, warm smile, intelligent…

“You okay, bro? You’re turning red,” Cisco said, looking Barry in the eye.

“No, I’m fine.” Barry said, shaking it away. “Let’s go home.”

And with that, the two of them leaped into the breach, their mission complete.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	2. Feelings of an Exhibition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry is invited to Star City by Oliver for a social event, where things go rather wrong.

It was a rare, calm night, and Barry found himself visiting Star City for pleasure (for once in his life). Felicity had invited him to attend the Kord Industries Tech Gala, an annual event that they hadn’t hosted in Star City in recent years due to the... _instability_ the city had shown. With connections in high places, Oliver had assured everyone that there would be extra security present that night - they just weren’t aware of from _where_.

Barry walked into the foyer with his hands on his cufflinks, trying to get out one last wrinkle before popping up onto the main floor of the grandest hotel in the city. His plus one sauntered alongside him in a tasteful red dress, her long, dark hair bouncing off her shoulders in voluminous curls.

Iris stopped Barry at the base of the stairs leading to the exhibition floor and tugged on his sleeves. “Would you quit? Your jacket is fine.”

“I just feel like I haven’t worn this thing since middle school,” Barry replied, stubbornly ironing his front side with his hands. “I look ridiculous.”

“You look great, babe,” Iris said, giving him a skeptical once over. “Are you okay? You’re acting a little weird.”

Barry took a deep breath. “I guess I’m nervous. I’ve attended a few things like this in Central City, but Star City’s not mine. I don’t know these people. They don’t know me. First impressions are important, right?”

Iris smiled and dusted off his shoulder. “And I can assure you that you are going to give a great first impression. It’s not like you’re even speaking at this thing.”

Barry’s expression relaxed. Iris was right - he was just another face in the crowd, there to appreciate Kord Industries’ newest technological advancements. Of course, as a member of the STAR Labs team, Barry was pretty sure he’d seen most of this tech before, but that’s what fake smiling was for, right?

“Barry!”

Barry jerked his head toward the stairs, atop which Felicity stood in a leggy blue sequined dress with a matching little purse. She looked amazing, Barry had to admit.

“Iris! Hey!” Felicity’s smile was as bright as the fluorescent lights lining the entryway. She let herself down the lengthy staircase and leaned in for a hug from Iris, then one from Barry. “I’m glad you guys decided to come. And I’m sure Oliver appreciates the extra security,” she added quietly.

“I figured Cisco would want to come instead,” Iris replied with a shrug, “but he said Kord Industries had nothing on Mercury or STAR Labs, so he opted to stay home. So, I figured I’d dust off my reporting skills by featuring an article on it, instead.”

“Great idea,” Felicity said with a nod. “Come on. I’ll show you around the exhibition room. I can dumb down anything you need me to.” She paused. “Not that you’re dumb - because you’re not - it’s just that there are certain terms you may not be familiar with and-”

Iris put a hand on her shoulder and Felicity stopped. “I know, and I appreciate it. Let’s go.” She gave Barry a wink and a smile as the two started their dangerous, high-heel trek up the stairs.

Barry took another deep breath and made his way up the stairs to the exhibition room floor. The crowd was massive: at least fifteen to twenty people gathered around each of the three dozen or so displays, many of them with notepads or other recording devices handy, others with cameras and even a couple of sketch pads. Barry couldn’t help but smile at the enthusiasm shown here by the people of Star City, all excited for science.

“Glad you could make it,” a familiar, gruff voice said rather closely to Barry’s ear. Barry could feel the blood rush into his cheeks as he turned to see the rugged visage of one Oliver Queen standing in a well-fitting tuxedo with his hands behind his back. He sported his patented half-smile, half-smirk tonight, which he usually reserved for situations where he didn’t really understand what was going on. Barry felt his heart quicken as he realized how close Oliver was, and he took a step back. Suddenly, his nerves seemed a billion times worse and the rest of the crowd was the least of his concerns.

“Yeah? Glad I could make it,” Barry replied, his voice a little shaky. He felt his face returning to normal as Oliver held out a hand. They shook and turned to face the exhibition floor. “What are we looking at, here?”

“John and René are out on the floor, while Dinah and several policemen are guarding the perimeter.”

“That’s some heavy duty security,” Barry noted. “Are you expecting something to go down tonight?”

Oliver made a face that Barry didn’t recognize. It was... _uncertain_. “The city’s been in a good place for a while, Barry, and I just don’t want to jeopardize that by being lax.”

Barry ran through the names in his head, and something stood out to him. “What about Curtis?”

“He’s off-site, monitoring the building’s security feeds.”

“You’ve got this place seriously cased,” Barry said, his hands in his pockets. “What do you need me for?”

Oliver chuckled and gave Barry a pat on the shoulder. “I just thought you’d enjoy a techie night on the town.”

Taken aback by the sentiment, Barry couldn’t help but feel a little off-balance. “Really?”

Oliver’s brow creased in what Barry could only call worry. “Was I wrong?”

“No, no.” Barry fought back a laugh. “I just figured you needed my help for something.”

“Well, I figured that we should just be ourselves from time to time. Spend time together as friends, not just allies.”

“You’re not into this techie stuff, though, Ollie.”

“Felicity is, and you’re not exactly rushing off to the displays, yourself.”

Barry couldn’t argue there. He _was_ more excited to see Oliver and Felicity than he was to see the technology. After a moment, he shrugged. “Fair enough.”

The two watched the crowd mill about for a minute before Oliver turned his head to Barry, confused. “Did you just call me Ollie?”

“I did. Is that bad?”

“No. I just...I can’t recall you ever calling me that before, other than when you were affected by that emotion-tampering meta.”

“Rainbow Raider.”

“I am not calling him that, Barry.”

“Huh.” Barry thought back. Was that unusual for Barry? It felt natural to say. “I can stick to Oliver, if you want.”

Oliver gave Barry a warm, inviting smile, and the room around them seemed to dim a little, which caused Oliver’s image to sharpen in Barry’s mind. He saw every rugged edge and fuzzy curve of the man’s face. He saw his wise, battle-torn but caring eyes and his lopsided, well-meaning grin. _I guess Oliver really_ is _stupidly handsome on every Earth_ , Barry thought.

“No,” Oliver said, “it’s fine. My friends call me Ollie, and you’re definitely a friend.” He made an exaggerated thinking face, and Barry smiled, too. “In fact, I like hearing it.”

“Good.” It was all Barry could say with this strange tightness in his chest. It was like someone had grabbed his lungs from behind and was squeezing them just enough to make it uncomfortable to breathe. But it wasn’t his breathing that was the problem - his speedster reflexes allowed him to take note of the pounding in his ears, but it was likely that a heart monitor wouldn’t have picked up on it. Barry could feel his surging heartbeat throughout his body.

“You okay?” Oliver’s body had stiffened, his face concerned, staring directly into Barry’s eyes.

Barry blinked several times and shook his head, not even aware that he’d been out of sorts. “No, yeah, I’m fine. Sorry. I guess I spaced out there.”

Oliver’s hand on Barry’s lower back - placed there to help steady the man - was not helping the situation. “Do you need to sit down?”

Barry instinctively pulled away. “No, I’m okay. Promise.” He took a deep breath. “I’m going to go see if I can find the girls.”

Oliver reached out and grabbed Barry’s hand, causing the speedster to jerk in surprise. “Take this, in case we _do_ need some quick assistance,” Oliver said, slipping an earpiece into Barry’s palm.

Barry looked at the device like a snake with two heads, then sighed, releasing a fraction of the tension he felt. “Okay. Thanks.” _Because having you in my head is_ just _what I need right now, thanks, Ollie._

Barry excused himself and melted into the crowd on the floor, his head swimming. He could barely concentrate on anything directly, and was content to let the inertia of the crowd carry him.

 _What is wrong with you,_ Barry asked himself. _There’s no reason to get so worked up._ He looked up and saw Iris and Felicity at an exhibit directly across the room from him. He locked his eyes onto Iris, and he felt a warmth in his chest that radiated all the way to his digits. _Look at her. She’s kind, smart, beautiful, brave, and can absolutely kill it in any formalwear I’ve seen her in._ He looked back at Oliver, who had struck up a conversation with a man in a suit near another exhibit. _That man looks really good in a tux._ Barry felt the tightness in his chest return, and the edges of his vision blurred. He blinked away surprise tears, and confusion set in.

_Those reactions are...what am I feeling?_

He looked back at Iris. Warmth and security. He looked to Oliver once more. Tightness and a sense of _longing_.

Barry stopped walking, his eyes wide as he continued to stare at Oliver. Someone almost ran into him from behind and made an off-color remark as she was forced to maneuver around him. Barry didn’t care.

_I know this feeling._

He looked one last time at Iris, worry on his face.

_It’s guilt. I feel guilty when I look at Oliver._

“..arry..”

The sound and vibration from his clenched fist shocked Barry into the here and now. He popped the earpiece in and tapped it. “Say again?”

“Glad you could join us, Barry,” Oliver snapped. Barry flinched. “Curtis, say it again.”

“We’ve got a problem,” Curtis explained. “There are some weird thermal readings from the top of the hotel. It looks like incendiary devices.”

“There are bombs on the top of the hotel?” Barry whispered, looking around to make sure no one reacted to his question.

“Looks that way.”

“I’m already in the elevator on my way up,” René said. Barry noticed a seemingly empty elevator ascending above the lobby. It was the only elevator in motion. “Tell me where, Curtis.” Curtis’s response was simple: placed along the roof directly over the main lobby, where the exhibition was being held.

“Why would someone blow up a technology exhibition?” John asked.

“Competition,” Iris said, her voice delivering a new shock to Barry. Felicity must have given her an earpiece, too. “Kord Industries is in direct contention with at least four other techmongers in the US. We’ve seen our fair share of unsavory interactions back in Central City.”

“Any news on how long we have?” Oliver asked.

“No clue. We’ll have a better idea once René gets up there, but I can say that there are sixteen individual heat signatures.”

Barry made his way to the side of the lobby, where Oliver was already watching the elevator come to a stop near the top of the line.

After about a minute, René’s voice piped up, but was shaky. “Guys? We’ve got thirty-six seconds.”

Oliver didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. Barry felt the surge of energy take over him and he sped out a side exit to the building, into the dark of evening illuminated by the city night life. He rounded on the foundation of the hotel and shot up the side of the building, increasing his momentum as necessary to reach the top of the structure. He breached the crest of the building, landing with his feet already moving. This took five seconds.

 _Thirty-one seconds and sixteen bombs to go_.

Barry searched the main rooftop as quickly as he could, successfully identifying all sixteen devices. He spotted a large burlap sack near one of them - likely what the terrorist had carried them up in - and bagged them all. This, overall, took twenty seconds.

_Eleven seconds._

Bag hoisted over his shoulder, Barry took a running start down the side of the building and out onto the street, the heat from his dress shoes starting to sear into the soles of his feet. He hadn’t intended to do _this_ much running at the event. He booked it outside of city limits with three seconds to spare, clocking close to Mach 1.5. He managed to reach a desolate area outside the city to place the bombs, then turned on his heel and raced back when he heard the detonation go off. Despite being over a mile away from ground zero, Barry still felt a bit of the persisting shockwave. He took a deep breath, happy to have avoided a catastrophe.

It didn’t take long for Barry to return to the event, but he made sure to walk for a bit outside to let his shoes cool. By the time he reached the exhibition floor once more, he could feel the cold linoleum contacting parts of the soles of his feet.

“These shoes are done for,” Barry said with a sigh as he approached Oliver, John, Iris, and Felicity near the top of the stairs leading in from the front door.

“Aw, Barr, I loved those shoes,” Iris said, her face pained.

“Well I, for one, appreciate the sacrifice of said shoes to keep large pieces of building from coming down on top of my head,” Felicity said.

“That was pretty fancy footwork.” Oliver clapped a hand on Barry’s shoulder and gave him a smile. “Thanks for being here.”

“Dinah’s already got someone in mind for who is behind this,” John informed Barry. “She’s meeting up with Curtis to go over some evidence some of the other cops picked up. You did your part, now we’ll do ours.”

Barry nodded. “I’m just glad Curtis saw the bombs when he did.”

“I’m going to go talk to someone for a sec, and then we can go, Barry. I’m sure you want to replace your shoes,” Iris suggested as she turned away from the ground. Felicity followed her.

“So, Barry,” Oliver said, and Barry felt his stomach twist at that all too familiar tone of Oliver knowing something, yet needing to ask the question anyway. “Why didn’t you just go up earlier, when Curtis mentioned the bombs in the first place?”

Barry just laughed. “I figured I’d let you guys handle it. I only stepped in when I realized René couldn’t do anything in time.”

“Waiting to hear if it was your turn or not must have been torture,” John said, watching Barry from afar. “Must have felt like forever to you.”

Barry shrugged. “I had a pretty decent buddy waiting with me.” He shot a grin over at Oliver, who returned it.

John looked from Barry to Oliver and back, then shrugged. “Suits me just fine. No one got hurt.” He looked around, suddenly looking very uncomfortable. “I’m outta here, though. I’ve had enough thinly-veiled excitement for one night.” He nodded to Barry and headed down the stairs, leaving the archer and the speedster alone once more.

Oliver tapped Barry on the arm to get his attention. “Seriously, thank you,” he said, giving Barry an intense stare. “You saved a lot of lives tonight.”

“You would have done the same,” Barry replied, his hands in his pockets.

“I certainly would have tried,” Oliver said with a chuckle. “But we both know you’re a better man than me, and a better hero. Just giving credit where credit is due.”

Barry rolled his eyes. “You’re just as good a man as I am, Ollie.”

Oliver smiled at hearing his nickname, and Barry felt a flutter in his stomach. “Thanks for saying that.”

“One of these days, you’ll believe it,” Barry said, lightly punching the other man in the shoulder. It was then that Barry realized just how close the two of them were standing: they were nearly shoulder to shoulder. Barry felt his face warm up as he turned away from Oliver, his eyes scanning the room for Iris. “I guess I should find my _wife_ and head to the hotel room.”

“You’re both welcome to stay at our place,” Oliver offered but Barry shook his head. He could feel his heart speeding up already.

“No, uh, thanks. We already had this planned, and Iris is a stickler for plans.”

“Oh.” The singular syllable shot Barry straight through the heart. Oliver sounded so downtrodden, like he’d just been denied Christmas as a kid. “Well, if you ever need a place in the future-”

“I will look you up,” Barry finished, shooting the other man a grin over his shoulder. Barry faltered for a moment, taken aback by the reddened cheeks of Oliver Queen. _Oliver was blushing_.

Barry snapped his head back toward the crowded room, and his eyes finally locked onto Iris. “Ah. There she is.” He didn’t look directly at Oliver, but he did smile. “I’ll see you later, Ollie.”

He could hear the smile in Oliver’s response:

“Bye, Barr.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	3. Tell Me When You're Ready

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Concerned about his sudden onset of feelings for Oliver, Barry confides in a close friend.

“Are you sure you’re okay, babe?”

It was the third time she’d asked this morning. Barry must have really been sulking. He shook his head and gave Iris’s hand a gentle squeeze as they sat at the kitchen table over some of Barry’s famous pancakes. He’d let them burn a little this morning, prompting her first question. Then, he’d not eaten anything by the time Iris had finished hers, prompting the second. And now, as Iris assembled her things to head over to STAR Labs, she realized that Barry still hadn’t gotten dressed.

“I promise, I’m okay. Just...thinking,” Barry assured her.

“You haven’t thought that hard about something since we were in the eighth grade,” Iris said, rounding the table and hugging him from behind. “Something’s wrong. But I trust you to tell me when you’re ready.” She gave him a kiss on the cheek and made her way to the door. “Promise me you’ll stop by STAR Labs in a little bit. Cisco said he wanted to talk to you about the mission on Earth 47.”

After he said his goodbyes to Iris, Barry moved to the couch and collapsed into a lethargic lump.

“Earth 47 is what’s wrong,” Barry muttered, covering his face with his hands.

It had been three days since the Tech Gala, and almost a week since the mission to Earth 47. In that time, Barry had thought about almost one singular topic: Oliver Queen. Knowing he’d married Oliver on another Earth somehow _changed_ how Barry saw his friend. He noticed how handsome he was, how knowledgeable, how kind. Lying there on the couch, Barry couldn’t help but wonder what Oliver was up to, and the tightness in his chest would not relent. He knew he was pining for someone else, and it made him feel terrible. But that he was pining for _Oliver_ , of all people, somehow made him feel even worse.

If it were just physical attraction, Barry could understand - Oliver was so attractive, it was unfair. He was even on Iris’s “List” - that list that married people make giving permission to each other to have sex with people with no consequences. But Barry’s heart, not his body, ached when he thought about Oliver. His bravery and selflessness as the Green Arrow. His determination and experience as a long-time survivor of tragedy. Even his stubborn streak brought a smile to Barry’s face.

To Barry, it was obvious that this wasn’t just a little physical crush, and that made it even more difficult to deal with.

 _I have Iris,_ Barry told himself, probably for the twentieth time today. _She’s practically everything I’ve ever wanted in my life, and she let me call her mine. There’s no reason for anyone else to even register to me._

But if that were the truth, why did Oliver’s image persist in his mind even now, as he lay trying to remind himself that Iris was his happy ending?

 _I have to get over this. Maybe talking with someone about it will help me face it and move on._ Barry stared up at the ceiling as he considered this. It was a big step - admitting that there were feelings there. It was risky, as well, as most of his friends had access to one or both of the affected parties. If he was going to go through with this, who was safe to tell?

Cisco wouldn’t be able to keep it to himself, especially after meeting Henry and Oliver on Earth 47. A definite no.

Iris was the _last_ person Barry wanted to tell, even though he was sure she’d be supportive and not likely to turn on him over it. It was just...not a conversation he wanted to have with her.

Oliver? No, confessing it makes it too...malleable. Too much could happen between them to recover. Barry was sure he needed this to stay _away_ from Oliver.

Felicity might understand Barry’s feelings for Oliver, since she married him. But she had a way of letting things slip to Oliver, Barry knew. And she was good friends with Iris, which - again - _not_ the best outcome.

Joe would just wind up getting upset. Barry married his daughter, and Joe had watched Barry grow up in love with her. Barry felt uncomfortable even _thinking_ of talking with him about this.

Who did that leave? Caitlin? Dig?

...Ralph?

Barry shuddered. Nope. Not going there.

Caitlin seemed like the level headed friend he needed right now, but she ran the risk of accidentally mentioning it to Iris. Barry shook his head. She was too close to this, too.

Barry picked up his phone and typed up a text: _“Hey. I need some advice. Or just to get something off my chest. Can we meet up?”_

Send.

John was the best choice here. He was an expert at keeping secrets, even from Oliver, and Barry knew he wouldn’t be judged. But knowing this did nothing to relieve the knots in Barry’s stomach.

Barry’s phone buzzed, nearly giving him a heart attack. Looking down at the screen, Barry saw just one word:

_“Sure.”_

 

Big Belly Burger had seemed as appropriate a place as any to Barry, but he had second thoughts as he stepped inside. The place was packed - not usual for a weekend - but Barry wasn’t sure he wanted to be around a lot of people for this discussion. He scanned the room, looking for John. He noticed him off to one side, sitting in a booth, already going to town on a messy looking burger. Barry gave a somewhat awkward wave as he approached, sliding into the booth opposite the ex-soldier.

“Hey, Barr. What’s going on?”

“Thanks for meeting with me, Dig. It’s just you, right?” Barry asked, looking around. He saw no one familiar in the restaurant.

“Yeah, man, it’s just me. What’s up?” John examined Barry’s worried expression. “What’s wrong?”

Barry avoided eye contact for a moment before deadlocking John’s gaze with his own. “I have... _a problem_. A big problem. And you were the one person I felt I could trust it with.”

Dig nodded, not taking his eyes off of Barry’s. “Sure, man. I got you. What’s going on?”

Barry took a deep breath. It felt so _stupid_ to consider saying out loud, but Barry knew he’d committed to this conversation when he’d run out from Central City over the course of half an hour. “This...this sounds stupid. You’re going to think I’m stupid for this.”

John leaned in, his eyes fixated on Barry’s. “Barry, breathe. I’m your friend. You can tell me anything.”

Barry took a moment to breathe deep, then nodded. “I think I’m...in love.”

John cracked a smirk. “Well, yeah, Barry. You’re married.”

Barry’s silence and expectant expression made John’s expression falter. “Oh,” he muttered. “Is it...someone I know?”

Barry nodded in silence, his body tense and his arms close to his torso.

John leaned back and exhaled. “Wow. That’s...that’s big, Barry.”

Barry cringed. John wasn’t _judging_ him, just like Barry knew he wouldn’t, but hearing it out loud was pretty bad, too.

The answer Barry received wasn’t the one he expected. “You know, Barry, I’m flattered, but I’ve got Lyla…”

Barry blinked. “Wait. Huh?”

“I do appreciate you telling me directly, though.”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Barry gestured for John to stop. “Dig, it’s not you.”

John paused for a moment, then started laughing, leaving Barry confused.

“Dig, please. I’m serious,” Barry pleaded, but John just shook his head, continuing his chuckle.

“I know it isn’t me,” he finally said. “I’ve known for a few days now.”

Barry’s eyes widened in horror. “ _What?_ ”

“You’ve got a thing for Oliver,” John said, diving onto a french fry. “Saw it at the Gala.”

“You didn’t _say_ anything, did you?” Barry asked, panic crossing his face.

John shook his head. “Of course not.” He raised an eyebrow at his friend. “Although, if it were anyone else, I wouldn’t have had to.”

“Is it...is it that obvious?” Barry asked, now feeling three inches tall.

“Nah, I wouldn’t worry about it.” He gave Barry a reassuring smile. “Oliver’s clueless about things like that, and Felicity tends to be oblivious to everything that isn’t Oliver.”

“Iris isn’t,” Barry muttered. “I just feel awful.” He leaned his head in his hands.

John looked down at Barry, not entirely sure what to say to make him feel better. He settled with, “Well, I think it’s good you decided to open up about it to someone. Face it for what it is: an infatuation. Infatuations can pass.”

Barry looked up, his eyes worried. “Are you sure that’s what it is? I haven’t been thinking clearly for a week.”

“A week is small potatoes, man. Try having a crush on someone for _years_.”

“Iris.”

“Oh. Right.”

Barry leaned back and sighed, letting his head roll back onto the booth behind him. “How do I move past this?”

“Well, I think staying away from Oliver is the biggest thing,” John replied. “Out of sight, out of mind, right? And spend time with Iris. Remind yourself why you’re with her.”

“Both of those seem very easy to do, Dig, are you sure they’ll work?”

“Love’s never sure of anything, Barry. The fact you fell for Oliver should tell you that.”

“I guess.”

John looked up as Barry felt someone approach the booth, both of their faces falling as Oliver appeared at the end of the table. His hands were in his pockets, although there was a backpack around one shoulder. Barry guessed he’d been out shopping with William and Felicity, and decided to stop for some food for them.

“John, Barry,” he said, giving off that radiant smirk of his, “what a surprise! What are you doing in town, Barry?”

Barry acted as nonchalant as he could manage, despite the fact that adrenaline was pumping through his veins. “Dig wanted to meet up to talk about some stuff. Something Cisco’s been working on for Spartan.”

Oliver grinned over at John. “That man is a genius. Whatever he’s working on will be a big help.”

John flashed a smile up at Oliver before scooting into the booth for Oliver to sit. Somewhere inside Barry’s mind, a small voice was chating: _no, no, no, no, no._

“I hope you don’t mind me dropping in like this,” Oliver said. “I’m glad I did, though. We don’t get to hang out nearly enough, Barry.”

Barry gave a nervous smile and a chuckle. “We certainly don’t.”

Oliver looked between John and Barry, his brow creasing in concentration. “What are you two up to? You’re both acting like I dropped in on a secret meeting.”

“Kinda did, Oliver,” John said, chomping down on another fry.

Oliver looked across at Barry, his eyes filled with concern. “Is there something wrong, Barry?”

 _Abort! Abort!_ Barry shook his head, mimicking the face of someone who was certainly not being bothered by someone else’s presence at the table. “Nah, nothin’s wrong, Oliver.”

Oliver’s face sagged a little. “What happened to calling me Ollie?”

Barry laughed, probably a little too loud. “Right. You said I could do you. Do that. Call you that.”

“Barry.”

“Hm?”

“What’s going on?” Oliver’s voice was stern and steady, his eyes locked onto Barry’s. Barry swallowed hard.

“We’re talking about your birthday party,” John announced, drawing Oliver’s gaze to himself. “Would you leave already? We can’t plan with you around.”

Oliver didn’t say anything, but instead looked back at Barry in suspicion. Barry could feel his heart skip a beat as Oliver’s steel gaze bore down on him.

Finally, Oliver shook his head. “Fine. You won’t tell me what’s going on, that’s on you. I tried to help.” He got up from the booth. He took a single step away from the duo, but stopped, turning back to face Barry one last time. “Unless this has something to do with me,” he said.

Although it made him feel like he was made of manure, Barry shook his head. “Nope. Not you. Don’t worry about it.”

Oliver looked disappointed. Sad. The way the corners of his mouth fell, his eyes drooped, his jaw relaxed...each point on Oliver’s face that Barry noticed delivered another arrow straight through his heart.

Oliver turned away from the two of them and walked out of the restaurant, leaving Barry to watch him with concern.

“That didn’t go well,” Barry said with a sigh.

“Maybe it’s for the best, to help with your _situation_ ,” John offered.

“I don’t want to push him away,” Barry replied with a sense of urgency. “I still want to be friends.”

“I don’t see that as being a problem, Barry.”

Barry stood up from the booth, looking down at John in defeat. “I think I’ll head back to Central City. I’m afraid I’m going to screw things up more if I stick around.”

John nodded and reached out to Barry to shake his hand. “Take care of yourself, Barry.”

Barry excused himself, walking out the front of the building, and immediately wished he hadn’t.

“Barry.”

Barry stopped and took a deep breath. Oliver had remained outside, leaning against the outside of the restaurant with his arms crossed. Barry felt the gaze of the other man bearing down on him from behind. When he turned to look, Oliver’s stern expression delivered a cold surge through Barry’s veins.

“You’re still here.”

“Because I don’t like being lied to,” Oliver said simply. “I don’t get it. What are you hiding? It _does_ have something to do with me, doesn’t it?”

“Oliver, please, let it go,” Barry pleaded.

“If it has something to do with me, _I need to know_ , Barry.” Oliver had righted himself from the building, and was now standing full height opposite his friend.

Barry shook his head and gave Oliver a hard stare of his own. “Oliver, we’re friends, right?”

“I’d like to think so, yeah.”

“You told me to call you Ollie.”

“Then yes. We’re friends.”

“Then, as my friend, Ollie, _please_ trust me. You can’t control everything your friends do and say, and you know it.”

Oliver was silent, sizing up the sincerity in Barry’s eyes. Barry knew the controlling thing was a bit of a hot button for Oliver, and he was hoping it would distract him enough to let him leave.

“It’s nothing bad, Oliver. I promise.” Barry suddenly felt very tired. “Please, just trust me on this. I needed to talk to Dig about something, and now I’m going home.”

“I do trust you, Barry,” Oliver said, his expression softening. “I trust you to tell me when you’re ready. But please, don’t shut me out if it involves me. It hurts. I care about you too much for that, and it feels like you don’t see me the same way.”

“That’s awful candid of you,” Barry said over the sound of his guts spilling out from the knife Oliver just used to slash him open.

“I’ve been trying to be more open with my feelings,” Oliver said, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “I guess Felicity is rubbing off on me.”

Barry opened his mouth to respond, but Oliver wavered in his vision, as did the side of the building behind him. Confused, Barry took a step forward, toward Oliver, but soon found himself pitching forward, instead.

“Barry!”

The cold of the autumn sidewalk underneath him chilled Barry’s cheeks. He felt strong hands grip him and turn him onto his back, all the while hearing a distant, concerned voice.

“Barry! _Barry!_ ”

Unable to open his eyes, Barry allowed the cold darkness to envelope him.


	4. But is it Love?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver helps Barry recover from his accident, and later has a deep discussion with Felicity regarding their speedster friend.

Oliver didn’t count his blessings often, but today, he did.

John had still been inside the restaurant when Barry fainted, which made it easy for Oliver to recruit someone to help him get Barry out of danger. A quick call to Felicity led to Barry being transported to their superhero-friendly surgeon in downtown Star City.

What Oliver _didn’t_ count on, however, was the doctor’s reaction to Barry’s condition.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” she told Oliver as the two of them stood in the sterile, cold hallway of the hospital. “The man has single-handedly destroyed our floor’s supply of saline bags, in the course of half an hour.”

“But _will he be okay?_ ” Oliver asked, his eyes looking through the small window on the door, in toward the unconscious young man hooked up to yet another IV bag.

“He’s dehydrated, but he should be fine,” the doctor said. “It looks like he had a blood sugar crash.”

Oliver’s eyes snapped to the doctor, confused. “Blood sugar crash? Barry’s not diabetic.”

The doctor took one look at the results on her clipboard and shrugged. “Could have fooled me, given these numbers.” She looked over her shoulder, at Barry. “So _that_ is Central City’s red savior?”

Oliver sighed, the tension in his chest relaxing just a little. “Can I go in?”

The doctor nodded. “He should be coming around soon. It’s probably best if someone familiar is there with him when he wakes up.” She turned down the hall and headed toward another room.

John, seated behind Oliver in a waiting chair, leaned forward. “I’ll give some updates to Felicity and Iris,” he offered.

“Thanks.” Oliver stepped into Barry’s room, closing the door quietly behind himself. His eyes took on Barry’s still-sleeping form. Without being hooked up to a heart monitor (Oliver remembered that there was little point to that), Barry looked dead, and such an image was difficult for Oliver to stomach. He approached the bed silently, putting a hand on Barry’s knee as he sat down next to him.

Barry’s knee moved under Oliver’s hand, and the skinnier man took a deep breath. Oliver couldn’t help but smile in relief. Barry’s eyes fluttered open and he looked down himself, his eyes following the shape of his limbs, leading him to Oliver, his hand still on Barry’s knee.

“Oliver?” The word was drunken. Heavy. Confused.

“Hey, Barr,” Oliver said through his smile. “How do you feel?”

“Hungry,” Barry replied with a laugh. “What happened?” He surveyed the rest of the room now, realizing where exactly he was. He looked at the IV bag inserted into his arm, and he collapsed in a mixture of relief and embarrassment. “I...passed out.”

“You did. It scared me.” Oliver lightly squeezed Barry’s knee.

“Sorry.” Barry set about undoing the IV. Oliver didn’t make a move to stop him - the man clearly knew his own body better than Oliver did.

“So what happened, Barry?”

Barry shook his head, his face turning red. “I may not have eaten all day, and I crashed.”

Oliver made a disappointed face. “I ran into you at a Big Belly Burger.”

“I guess I didn’t feel like eating.”

“That’s insane, Barry. Don’t you need-”

“About ten thousand calories a day, yeah,” Barry finished for him. “I wasn’t feeling the best this morning, and I guess running all the way to Star City compounded the deficit.” He finished fiddling with his IV and sat up, taking a better look around. “As far as hospital rooms go, this one’s pretty nice. A friend of yours?”

“Yeah, she’s been there for us a lot over the past few years,” Oliver admitted. “She even...tried to save Laurel.”

“So she knows who I am,” Barry said slowly, trying not to step on _that_ land mine.

“She may have figured it out. I didn’t tell her yes or no.”

Barry just then seemed to register that Oliver’s hand was still on his knee. His face turned a deeper red, and he brushed Oliver’s hand off of him. “Uh, thanks for looking out for me.”

Oliver sat up straight, his face uncertain as he watched Barry pull himself out of bed and begin to dress himself. “So, that’s it? Not going to explain why you weren’t taking care of yourself?” His voice was a tad on the harsh side, unintentionally. He sat back in his chair when he realized it. “Sorry. I just-”

“I didn’t feel much like eating,” Barry muttered.

“That’s not an excuse, Barry.” He managed to control his voice much more precisely, that time.

Barry shot Oliver a look that Oliver didn’t immediately recognize. It was almost angry, but not quite.

“Barry, is there-”

“Just _stop_ , Oliver.” Barry finally looked Oliver straight in the eye, much to Oliver’s dismay. Barry’s eyes were glistening in tears, but his face was totally neutral. Oliver was touching on something he didn’t understand - he knew that now.

The archer averted his eyes. “Sorry.”

Barry sighed in frustration. “No, I’m sorry.” He stood up straight and looked away from his friend. “Listen. What happened to me today,” he paused, “it had to do with you. But I’m not ready to talk about it.”

“That’s...fair,” Oliver lied. On some basic level, he felt betrayed by Barry’s attitude, but Barry needed his friend to be there for him more than Oliver needed to know what was going on. “I’ll be ready to listen when you are.”

“I know. Just know that it may take a while.” Barry still hadn’t looked back at him yet.

Oliver watched as Barry resumed getting dressed. “I get that. And you know I just want you to be healthy and happy.”

Barry let out a laugh, but it wasn’t offended. He shook his head and finally looked back at Oliver with his usual, cheeky grin. “I know. Thanks, Ollie.”

Oliver smiled. He loved hearing Barry call him that. He didn’t know why, but he did.

“You going to be okay getting home?” Oliver asked. “I can call up Cisco and get a breach home.”

“About that, where is everyone? Were you the only one watching me?” Barry asked, looking out the little window into the hallway. John was nowhere to be seen.

“Strangely enough, everyone in Central City seemed to know what was going on before the doctor did. Has this happened to you before?”

“There was a whole week where I wasn’t getting enough calories when I was first starting out,” Barry said with a chuckle. “Cisco and Caitlin must have assured Iris that everything was okay.”

“Well, then, I guess you’ll be getting something to eat on your way out,” Oliver suggested. He hoped Barry would take the hint.

Barry grinned, causing Oliver’s stomach to flip. “I guess I will. Thanks again, Ollie. I’m lucky to have a friend like you. With the connections you have,” he added, gesturing to the hospital room.

Oliver stood and watched contentedly as Barry headed for the door. The two locked eyes for just a moment -  a moment of uncertainty filling the milliseconds that felt like hours before Barry reached for the door handle. Oliver’s face fell as Barry left him alone in the hospital room, not quite sure why his heart felt so heavy.

 

“Felicity.”

“Nn..”

“Felicity.”

“Nn.”

“Hey. Fel-”

“If you say ‘Felicity’ one more time, Oliver, I’m going to kick you off the bed.”

Oliver stared up at the ceiling in the dark, his hands locked together over his chest, the texture of the ceiling lit dimly by the city lights pouring in through the windows. He felt Felicity shift in the bed next to him, and he could feel her gaze on him.

“What is it?”

“I’m doing better about letting my feelings out, right?”

Felicity sighed, mildly annoyed for being woken up for this. “Yeah, you are. Why?” Her voice was calm. Concerned, despite her initial irritation. Oliver loved that about her.

“Barry and I had a…” he paused, searching for the word, “...disagreement, I guess? But I’ve been running it over in my head, and it’s been bothering me. I don’t really think I did anything wrong, but I feel terrible about how it went.”

“He’s a good friend, and you don’t want good friends upset at you. It’s understandable.”

“That’s part of it, but there’s something nagging at me now.”

“Nagging? What kind of nagging?” Felicity’s voice raised a little, sparking curiosity from Oliver.

“He avoided me, Felicity.”

Oliver felt Felicity’s face on his shoulder, and her hand found his in the dark. “I’m sorry. Sometimes people just need to have some space.”

“Today was just weird,” Oliver muttered.

“What about this is keeping you from sleeping, Oliver?”

“I’m...mad.”

“Mad? You don’t sound mad, even for you.”

“I think it’s because I don’t think I should be angry, but I am.”

“This is getting too confusing for three in the morning.”

“Should I talk to Barry?”

“If he was avoiding you today, I don’t think you should press the matter.”

“He _did_ say he would tell me what’s going on, eventually.”

“Well, then, there you go.” Felicity turned back over to face her side of the bed, leaving a cold space on Oliver’s shoulder. “He’s already pulled a you, putting you on the edge of your seat for important information. Look at that.”

“So that’s what that feels like,” Oliver said, nonplussed.

“Yep.”

“I don’t like it.”

“Nope.”

“Thanks.”

“Of course.”

Oliver continued to stare at the ceiling, a growing concern spreading through his chest.

“Felicity?”

“ _What_.”

Oliver paused, not sure how to phrase his question.

“What is it, Oliver?” She sounded more irritated this time around.

“You loved Ray, right?”

Felicity shifted next to Oliver once again, but this time, her bedside lamp illuminated the bedroom. She looked over at him, confusion clearly written across her face. “What?”

“You were in love with Ray, but you were also in love with me. Isn’t that how it went?”

Felicity bit her lower lip, trying to ignore how conceited that sounded. “I guess you can put it that way, yeah.”

Oliver turned his head and looked Felicity in the eye, to make sure she understood he wasn’t joking. “Tell me what that feels like.”

Felicity’s eyes widened momentarily, but she eased into a smile. “What do you mean?”

“How did you deal with having feelings for two people at once?” The question was earnest, and Oliver made sure to keep his body perfectly still, to help Felicity understand that he was simply asking, not incriminating her.

“Well,” Felicity said, looking off to the side, “it wasn’t easy. Being in the room with both of you was really difficult, but it did have its benefits. I really enjoyed spending time with each of you individually.” She stopped, thinking. “I’d say I was probably pretty happy.”

Oliver turned to look stare back up at the ceiling, content. “Okay.”

Felicity looked over at him with a suspicious eyebrow raised. “Do you think you’re in love with someone else?”

Oliver didn’t say anything at first, then nodded.

“Who?”

“Barry. I think.” He shook his head. “I don’t know yet.”

"Huh. Do you think he likes you back? Or even likes men, period?"

"I don't know. After the way he's been avoiding me lately, it feels like he doesn't even  _like_ me."

"Now, you  _know_ that isn't true."

Oliver just smiled.

Felicity leaned back and stared up at the ceiling next to her husband. She tilted her head to lay it against his shoulder. “You could do worse,” she admitted. “Barry’s a really good guy.”

“It may not be love,” Oliver said, “but I do find myself thinking about him a lot lately, and... _not_ as friends.”

“Should I be jealous?” Felicity teased.

“...Would you be?” Felicity didn’t answer straight away, causing Oliver’s heart to beat hard under his hands as he waited for her response.

“Oliver.” Her voice was steady and soft. “I love you, and you always say you love me. I want you to be happy. If that means you enjoy spending time with Barry in the same ways you enjoy spending time with me, I can’t deny you that. I personally would hate myself.”

“That doesn’t make you okay with it.”

Felicity kissed his shoulder. “I’m telling you, I’m okay with it. Explore it. Figure it out. I’ll still be here, no matter what you decide. Even if you decide you only want to be with him, it’ll hurt, but as long as I can still be part of your life, I’ll be happy, too.”

“I…” Oliver realized he was having difficulty speaking, as his throat had closed up as tears stung his eyes. “I can’t say I’d do the same, if our position were reversed,” he admitted.

“And I wouldn’t expect you to,” Felicity replied, nuzzling into his shoulder again. “But this is important to you, and I want you to be sure that I’m here for you, no matter what.”

Oliver looked down at Felicity, her golden hair tickling his nose. “How did I ever wind up with a partner like you?”

Felicity chuckled. “Well, it all started with a bullet-ridden laptop…”

Oliver kissed the top of her head, and found sleep was much more likely than he’d realized.

“Thank you, Felicity. I love you.”

“And I love you.”


	5. Evidence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry and Cisco work together to find a doppelganger on another Earth, where Barry is rudely reminded of his predicament.

_“Important. STAR Labs. Now.”_

Barry only stared at the screen for a split second before finishing his breakfast and rushing over to meet the others at the lab. On the way, he wondered what Cisco could have labeled “important,” given their day to day activities as superheroes. The idea of dealing with some planetary disturbance or evil plot did not sit well with Barry today.

When the speedster arrived at the Cortex, Cisco and Caitlin met him with friendly waves, Caitlin with a smile.

“What’s so important?” Barry asked.

“Cisco finally figured out why Gypsy lied to you guys about Earth 47,” Caitlin replied in her matter-of-fact voice.

Barry gave an impressed look to his friend, who had moved to one of the main consoles. He struck a couple of keys and Gypsy’s face popped up on the screens on the far wall. Barry took a moment to read over the information scrolling on the side of the screen, next to her apparent mugshot.

“No, that can’t be real,” Barry said with a laugh. “This says she’s wanted for _murder_.”

Cisco shrugged. “Turns out Cynthia has an Earth 33 doppelganger who went a little nuts and took out no less than _sixteen_ police departments on Earth 47.”

“So they put her on a watch list as a breacher,” Barry said. “Woah. That’s pretty heavy.”

“It still doesn’t answer the question as to why she told you that Earth 47 had anti-breach technology,” Caitlin said. “But Cisco seems pretty okay with this as a replacement reason, so I’m willing to go with his gut on this one.”

“Cynthia’s never been a big sharer,” Cisco replied. “I can’t really blame her for not wanting us to find out she shares a face with a mass murderer.”

“Her doppelganger is still free?” Barry asked.

“Yep.” Caitlin hit a single key on the keyboard in front of her, and Barry saw a list of Earths, some with strikethrough graphics. “Turns out she and her father went from Earth to Earth trying to find her, but they never could figure out where she went.”

“Even Earth-X is ruled out,” Barry noticed. “That takes some serious guts.”

Cisco made a noise in agreement. “So when I discovered all this, I reached out to Cynthia and got the go ahead to join her in her hunt...for herself.” He punched a few more keys, narrowing the list down to three Earths. “I’ve been to these three already.”

Barry read the tiny list, unimpressed. “No dice, huh?”

Caitlin grinned mischievously, giving Cisco her excited, raised eyebrows. Barry noticed, turning to Cisco. Cisco was masking a grin of his own.

“Uh, somethin’ up?” It was never a good thing when _both_ of them were all giggles.

“I, uh, noticed something interesting on each of these Earths. Something they all had in common,” Cisco said, hardly able to keep a straight face. “And it’s about you.”

“About me? What is it?” Barry leaned on the main console, genuinely intrigued and a little worried.

Caitlin failed to hold back a laugh, causing some confused discomfort on Barry’s part.

“Dude,” Cisco said, his grin stretching from ear to ear, “on all three of these Earths, you and Oliver are married.”

Barry stood up slowly, never breaking eye contact with Cisco, never blinking, not smiling. As he did so, the breacher’s smile slowly faded until the two of them simply stared at each other in an awkward silence.

Caitlin, concerned, looked between the two of them. “Barry? Cisco?”

“Sorry, man,” Cisco said, clearly unnerved by Barry’s stare. “We thought it was funny, since-”

“Oh _ha ha_ ,” Barry mocked, causing Caitlin to flinch. “I guess I’ll always be great for a laugh then, huh?”

“Barry?” Caitlin looked at him, worried.

Barry looked away for a second, then back at Caitlin. “Did you guys find anything _useful_ on any of those Earths?”

Caitlin gave a nervous look to Cisco, who shook his head. “No.”

There was a pregnant silence as Barry refused to look at Cisco. Then, with a sigh, Barry said, “Okay. So what’s the plan? You gonna breach to another Earth and look for Gypsy II again?”

Cisco nodded, unsure if it was safe to say anything out loud.

“We think we’ve narrowed the list down to a couple that share some features with some of the worlds she’s already hit,” Caitlin said, punching up another list of numbers. “The likelihood of catching her is highest on one of these Earths."

“Suit up,” Barry said, giving Cisco an unamused glare. “I’ll be ready in a few minutes. Gonna go run it off in the lab.”

Cisco nodded, but Barry didn’t see - he’d already dashed out of the cortex and up into the speed lab.

 _This is hard enough without seeing it wherever I go,_ Barry thought. _I  know I can’t take it out on Cisco - he doesn’t know - but this isn’t helping._

When Barry came out of the lap track on the second floor of the lab, Caitlin was sitting on a stool in the middle of the room, her hands folded in her lap and a soft look in her eye.

“You okay?” she asked, giving him a sidelong look.

“I’m fine,” Barry said breathlessly.

Caitlin just tilted her head the other way and made _the face_ \- where she knew someone was telling her what she wanted to hear.

“Fine, I’m not okay,” Barry muttered. “Stop looking at me like that.”

“You know, you were really rude in there,” Caitlin pointed out. “One of your best friends just got chewed out for making an amusing observation.”

“It’s not _that_ amusing,” Barry countered, probably a little too harshly. “I mean,” he lowered his voice. “It was funny on Earth 47, but isn’t it time to focus on finding a killer?”

“Barry. We _constantly_ crack jokes while we’re on the hunt for dangerous metas. It’s what we do.”

“It’s not usually at one of _our_ expenses, though,” Barry muttered, folding his arms in front of him.

“That doesn’t make it any less amusing, and you know that.” Caitlin gave him a warm smile. “Something’s wrong, but I’m going to let you tell me whenever you’re ready. You always seem to do best when no one’s pressuring you. Just,” she added, “remember that I’m here for you, and so is Cisco.”

Barry lost the fight to his smile. “I know,” he said. “I appreciate it.”

“Good. Now, go back in there and help your best friend catch a mass murdering meta.”

Barry moved to leave, but he faltered. “Aren’t you coming with us?”

Caitlin shook her head, but she didn’t seem particularly concerned. “I have a couple of things I already had planned for today. But if I manage to get them done, I’ll be up for the next round of Earths you scour.”

“Glad to hear it.” Barry grinned and made his way back to the Cortex.

 

Earth 50 was _unusual_ to say the least. Its sky was a soft, light red, and its grass was a strange turquoise color. Barry and Cisco took a moment to take it all in, looking at the familiar skyline of Central City before them. Other than the strange color palette, nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

“So how did you search those other Earths so quickly?” Barry asked.

“Mainly hacking into satellites and finding reports of tachyon emissions,” Cisco replied, pulling out a small pocket computer. Barry couldn’t help but notice how tricorder-like it looked. “After we found Grodd on 47 using tachyons, I figured that would be a pretty efficient way to search for anyone who can breach.”

“Sounds good. So where should we start?”

“First step is finding out if STAR Labs exists here. Then, if it does, we use it to access the tech we need. If it doesn’t, usually CCPD is good enough.”

“Good enough for me,” Barry said with a shrug. He grabbed Cisco and headed for STAR Labs’ normal locale.

Twenty minutes later, Barry and Cisco found themselves standing at the steps of CCPD on an unfamiliar Earth once again. Their search for STAR Labs had resulted in no success, instead leading them to plugging into the world’s Internet-wannabe system to look to see if it existed at all.

It didn’t.

“Can you use their tech from here?” Barry asked, watching as Cisco ticked away on his pocket computer.

“I think so, but I need to be closer,” Cisco said. “If we can just get to the lobby, I should be able to do whatever I need to.”

“Let’s get a move on, then.” Barry headed up the steps and reached for the doors, only to be stopped by the door opening from the inside. On the other side of the door was Oliver Queen, dressed up in a suit and tie. He was clean shaven, and his hair was a little longer than the one Barry knew, but it was unmistakably Oliver.

“Excuse me,” Barry said, moving to the side, but Oliver just stopped and followed Barry’s movements with his gaze.

“I’ll say,” Oliver muttered, shaking his head in disapproval. He closed the distance between the two of them, his expression _very_ familiar - stern, and unrelenting. Barry didn’t pull back, and the two were soon only inches apart.

“You shaved,” Oliver whispered.

Barry blinked, followed by some incoherent stammering.

“I don’t hate it,” Oliver admitted, and the larger man pulled Barry into a deep, lingering kiss right there on the steps of the station.

In that moment, nothing else mattered. The initial shock subsided, and Barry found himself enjoying the forceful lips of another man. Despite his confusion at being accosted by a doppelganger and inner conflict about trying to _not_ fall in love with Oliver Queen, Barry couldn’t help but notice that this kiss was... _really nice_.

Off to the side somewhere, Barry could hear Cisco laughing. That sound brought Barry back to the present, and he separated himself from Oliver, albeit a little less forcefully than he could have.

Oliver looked Barry dead in the eye, his eyes narrowed dangerously.

“Who are you?” he whispered.

 _Crap._ “I’m, uh, Ted. From Coast City.”

Oliver backed up, looking Barry up and down. “You...look _exactly_ like my boyfriend.”

Barry cleared his throat. “Yeah, sorry. I guess I have one of those-”

“That’s bull,” Oliver interrupted.  “Barry doesn’t have a twin. Who are you?”

“Captain?” A policewoman had appeared at Oliver’s side, her eyes just as hard and ready for action as Oliver’s.

Barry’s eyebrows nearly met his hairline. “Captain? As in, Captain of the CCPD?”

“You haven’t answered my question,” Oliver hissed. “Who are you?” His hand had moved to his belt line, a maneuver which Barry recognized far too easily.

Barry put his hands up in surrender. “Can you take us inside, Captain? I’ll answer everything.”

“Us?” Oliver asked. Barry nudged his head at Cisco, who stood at the base of the stairs, waving awkwardly.

Oliver relaxed. “Yeah. I think we should talk.”

 

The interior of the CCPD building was nearly identical to the one Barry was familiar with, although the crime lab was on the opposite side of the building. Oliver had Barry and Cisco follow him to an interrogation room off of the main lobby, where he assured them they wouldn’t be interrupted or overheard.

It took nearly half an hour to get Oliver to wrap his mind around the multiverse, or metahumans for that matter, but after Barry asked him to cuff him tightly, only to immediately phase through the handcuffs moments later, Oliver seemed pretty convinced of their story. After that, Cisco informed the Captain of their mission to this Earth, in an attempt to find Gypsy’s double.

Oliver just sat in stone cold silence through most of this, although his reaction to Barry’s phasing technique had been nothing short of _hilarious,_ until Cisco finished his explanation. Finally, the Captain leaned forward on the table between them and said, “Sorry. Can’t help you.”

“How do you mean?” Barry asked.

“We haven’t had anyone with strange powers show up and kill anyone,” Oliver replied. “If she’s here, she’s hiding.”

“That’s what I needed to come inside the station for,” Cisco said, holding up his pocket computer. “I can use this to…” he trailed off, remembering suddenly that he was about to explain illegally hacking state property for his own personal purposes. Oliver hitched an eyebrow, and Cisco cleared his throat. “I can use this to find her if she’s here. Should only take me about five, ten minutes, max.”

“Can you do it from in here?” Oliver asked, obviously not convinced.

Cisco looked at the screen in front of him and shrugged. “Actually, yeah.”

“Good. Do your thing and _leave,_ ” Oliver ordered, standing up. “I have no idea how I’m supposed to explain this to Barry.”

“Explain what?” Barry asked.

Oliver rubbed his temple and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath. “You must really be from another world,” he muttered. “Here, when you’re romantically engaged with someone, you’re empathically attached to them. So when I kissed you, he _felt_ my endorphins. My feelings.”

Cisco’s eyes went wide. “You’re biologically predisposed to detect cheating? That’s _insane!_ ”

“I felt his curiosity and anger shortly after we broke the kiss off, and he felt my anger at realizing you weren’t him,” Oliver said. “He probably feels my confusion and anxiety right now.”

“This world would _kill_ the Oliver I know,” Barry said with a smirk.

“So you can tell when you’re lying to each other, right?” Cisco asked.

Oliver nodded. “To an extent, yeah. It’s like knowing if someone’s hiding something.”

“Shouldn’t be a problem then,” Cisco replied with a shrug. “He should be able to tell how honest you’re being - you’re not hiding anything. And it’s not like he needs to know everything, just that someone who looked an _awful_ lot like him showed up, and you got ahead of yourself.”

Oliver considered this. “I suppose that’s true.”

Barry looked over at Cisco. “Shouldn’t you be scanning?”

Cisco held up his computer for Barry to see. “I have been. So far, nothing.”

“Well, I’ll leave you to it, then,” Oliver said, making his way to the door. “You’re not being left alone - there are cops stationed outside. Let them know when you leave.”

“Will do.” Barry gave a two-fingered salute as Oliver turned to make his exit, leaving the two metas by themselves.

“That man is too trusting,” Cisco muttered, sitting across the table from Barry.

“Definitely a stretch from our Oliver,” Barry agreed. “Any luck on the scan?”

“Nada. Doesn’t look like there’s been any recent breaching.”

“How recent would it have to be?” Barry asked.

“I went back to Earth 47 while you were in Star City,” Cisco said. “Breacher was there. Did you remember that he _retired_ on Earth 47? Anyway. He actually told me about this tech. It’s supposed to track down breach residue up to three months old.”

“So she’s really not here,” Barry surmised. Cisco nodded with a sullen expression.

“Good news, though, is that we can definitely rule out Earth 50, which is fine by my. This whole 'red sky' thing is not cool.”

Barry couldn’t disagree.

 

“So what did you find out?” Caitlin asked at dinner that night. She and Cisco had joined Iris and Barry at their apartment. Pizza boxes lined the kitchen counters and wine had been poured. They were sitting at the table talking about their day, when Caitlin had brought up the boys’ mission to Earth 50.

“No Gypsy,” Cisco replied with a sigh. “But you should have seen-”

“ _The sky_ ,” Barry jumped in. Cisco gave him a confused look, and Barry microscopically shook his head.

“The sky?” Iris raised an eyebrow. “What was so interesting about the sky?”

“It was red,” Cisco explained slowly. “The sky was red. Really weird. Kind of made me twitchy.”

“That must have been very unnerving,” Caitlin agreed, her eyes wide in wonder. “I bet that world has a much higher tolerance for violent crimes than we do.”

“Sounds like a party world,” Iris muttered. Barry laughed, a little nervously.

“Did you see any doppelgangers?” Caitlin asked, a sly grin spread across her face.

Cisco’s eyes darted to Barry, who shook his head insignificantly once more. Iris noticed. “Uh, nope. No doppelgangers. Turns out we don’t exist on that Earth.”

“Really? None of us?” Iris took a bite of pizza, her eyes on Barry’s expression.

Barry gave a wave of dismissal and made a noise of disregard. “Not any that we saw, and we looked.”

“Hm.” Iris chewed slowly, her eyes locked on Barry. Barry felt her stare boring into the side of his head.

“We _did_ find out something pretty interesting, though,” Cisco said, pointing at Caitlin. “Cait, you’ll get a kick out of this.”

As Cisco went into the details about how lovers were empathically connected on Earth 50, Iris leaned in to Barry and whispered, “Is something wrong, babe?”

Barry cleared his throat. “No, no, nothing. Why?”

“Because you’re doing that thing where all you can do is answer in negatives and questions.”

“Am I? No, that’s crazy. You’re...crazy…” He trailed off, the heat forcing its way into his cheeks.

“Crazy, huh?” Iris looked over at Cisco with a glint in her eye and a purpose on her face. “Cisco. Tell me the truth. What happened?”

“We ran into Earth 50 Oliver at CCPD and he was the Captain of the police force and he surprised us and kissed Barry,” Cisco said, not even trying to stop himself. As soon as the last word was out of his mouth, he squeezed his eyes shut.

Caitlin stared at Cisco in disbelief. “Is...is there truth serum in this wine? What _was_ that?”

“Cisco thought it was hilarious,” Barry muttered, collapsing into his hands.

“You _kissed_ Oliver Queen?” Iris asked, mouth agape.

“Uh huh.”

Iris put a reassuring hand on his arm. “It’s okay, Barr. It happened on another Earth, and you probably were just surprised to see Oliver there. Right?”

“To put it mildly,” Barry agreed.

“Then don’t feel bad, babe.” She leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “It’s not like you wanted to keep kissing him.”

Wordlessly, Barry peeked over his fingers to Caitlin, who was watching with an enchanted look at Iris’s confidence, but their eyes met. Barry just stared for a moment, and Caitlin’s eyes went wider than they had all night.

As if God Himself decided to intervene, Barry’s phone beeped in his pocket, signifying a text. He retrieved the device and checked the name - it was Oliver.

“Speak of the devil,” Iris said with a laugh. She gave Barry another kiss before returning to her pizza.

Barry turned away from the table and read the text:

_“Hey. Hope you’re feeling better. Got something on my mind. Can we talk?”_

Confused, Barry texted back:

_“Sure thing, man. Do you want me to call?”_

_“I’d rather talk in person.”_

Oliver’s rapid replies told Barry he was watching his phone. This must have been important.

_“Sure. When?”_

_“How about now?”_

Barry’s heart fell into his stomach as he heard three strong knocks on his apartment door. “I got it,” he called, and made his way to the front door. He peeked through the peephole to see the unfortunately handsome visage of his friend waiting, almost nervously, on the other side.

Barry opened the door, revealing Oliver Queen in a coat appropriate for the chilled weather, an awkward grin on his face.

“Hey, Barry,” Oliver said, his eyes somehow filled with both happiness and anxiety, “you got a minute?”


	6. Confessions on a Clear Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver surprises Barry at home with a confession of his own - what's a Scarlet Speedster to do?

The hallway was otherwise empty as Barry stepped out to stand in front of Oliver, slowly closing the door behind him. Neither of them took their eyes off of one another, but Barry’s eyes were panicked, while Oliver’s were smiling. Barry could feel his heart in his throat. He unsuccessfully tried to swallow it.

“Oliver, what’s going on?” The question was simple, but hushed. Combined with Barry’s face, it was obvious that the speedster didn’t want Oliver there.

“I’m interrupting something,” Oliver whispered back, eyeing the door. “Sorry. I should have texted _before_ coming over.”

“It’s okay,” Barry wanted to say, but it _wasn’t_ okay, but Oliver didn’t know why. “Iris and I have company. I just would have appreciated a little more of a head’s up.”

Oliver looked at the floor before meeting Barry’s gaze again. “I know, I’m sorry. I just-” He trailed off for a moment, trying to find the right words. “I really need to talk to you.”

Barry shifted his weight uncomfortably. “About what?”

Oliver glanced around at their surroundings. “It’d be nice if we didn’t have this conversation out here, in the hallway,” he said.

Barry agreed, but there was an uneasiness in the back of his mind. Why would Oliver randomly show up wanting to _talk_ to him? Why not just call? “Sure. Come in. I’m sure everyone will be happy to see you.”

Barry reopened the door and led Oliver in, signaling excited hellos from the others at the dinner table.

“Sorry to crash the party, guys,” Oliver said, flashing one of his million dollar smiles at Barry’s friends. “I just really needed to talk to Barry about something.”

“Is this related to your night on the town the other night?” Caitlin asked.

Oliver wasn’t quite sure how to answer that question, but he didn’t consider that an incorrect guess. “I guess it could be, yeah.”

Barry leaned down at gave Iris a kiss. “I’ll be right back,” he said. He led Oliver by the shoulder to the guest room, where the two of them stood opposite one another.

“Okay, so what’s all this about?” Barry asked.

Oliver wrung his hands for a moment before realizing what he was doing. He stuck them into his coat pockets. “I, uh. First, I wanted to ask you a question, and I really would appreciate an honest answer.”

Barry raised an eyebrow, suspicious. “Okay…”

“You told me you’d tell me when _you_ were ready, but I don’t think I can wait,” Oliver said. “This is important to me, Barry. Why were you so stressed out in Star City? Why have you been treating me so differently all of a sudden?”

The bottom fell out of Barry’s stomach, letting his guts hit the floor. A cold chill swept up his spine, and he knew his face was turning red. “O-Ollie, I-”

“The truth, please.” Oliver’s face was practically unreadable. It carried his normal, serious expression, with no ill will, anger, or irritation. In fact, Barry could see the faintest hint of worry in his eyes.

 _Is this it? Is this how Oliver finds out?_ Barry asked himself. He shook his head, choosing instead to focus on how upset he was. “Oliver, this isn’t fair. You can’t just come to my home and demand me give you answers I’ve already told you I will give you _on my own time._ ”

Oliver nodded. “I know. It isn’t fair.” He took a step forward, allowing one hand to take Barry by the elbow. “But we both know that _love_ isn’t fair, Barry.”

Nope.

Nope nope nope.

_Nope nope nope nope._

Barry pulled back, the color drained from his face. “I-” He couldn’t find any more words than that.

Oliver’s eyes were bright. Honest. Glistening, even. _Is he crying? Is that a thing Oliver can do?_

Barry stood straight up, suddenly very confused. “Wait. Love?”

Oliver gave a pathetic, one-shouldered shrug. He no longer had the stern, unreadable expression he had adopted before. Now, Barry could see every worry, every hint of a smile, every stress line. Suddenly, Oliver Queen had become a billboard of emotion.

“You’re…” Barry tried to wrap his mind around what he was hearing.

“I am.” Oliver lowered his face, but kept his hopeful eyes on Barry.

“This wasn’t about me,” Barry whispered, a hand on his forehead to help stabilize his thoughts. “This was about you. You’re in love with me.”

Oliver’s silence was all the confirmation Barry needed.

Barry shook his head, trying to wrap his mind around what was happening. “So, you knew why I was avoiding you?”

“I thought I did. But I wasn’t sure.”

Neither of them said anything for a long, silent moment, until Oliver cleared his throat. “So...you love me, too?”

“I…” Barry leaned against the armoire behind him for support. “Cisco and I went to another Earth, and we found out that the version of you and me from that Earth were married.”

Oliver chuckled. “Really?”

“It kind of got me thinking about you from a different place. Then, at the tech gala, being around you brought up a lot of new feelings I didn’t know I had.”

“John noticed, didn’t he? That’s why you were talking with him at the restaurant.”

Barry nodded. “And then, when I got back to Central City, Cisco and Caitlin told me that other versions of ourselves were married or together on _multiple_ Earths. It was...not helping my situation.”

“I can imagine.” That was it. That was Oliver’s reaction.

Barry took a deep breath and ran his hands down his face. “This is...awkward.”

“Listen, Barr. I don’t know what you want to do, but I know what _I_ want to do.”

Barry gave an uncomfortable, questioning glance over to the archer. “You do?”

The answer came in the form of a warm shrug, one that gave many answers. Barry immediately recognized the intent: Oliver wanted to explore these feelings.

No amount of warning could have prepared Barry for all of this. “What about Felicity?”

“I’ve already talked to her about it.”

“And?” Barry didn’t like the nonchalance in the other man’s voice.

“She told me to do whatever I wanted, and she would support me. She would support _us_.”

Barry shook his head. “Oliver, I…”

“Knowing you, you haven’t told anyone other than John.”

“Caitlin _might_ know,” Barry admitted with a small shrug.

“Well, I don’t want you to feel pressured into this, Barry, but I think we should follow our feelings on this.” Oliver stepped up to Barry and put his hand on the other man’s. Barry felt the blood return to his face with a vengeance. “What are your feelings telling you?”

“Well right now, they’re mostly screaming to wake up, because there’s no way I can make a decision like that in the real world,” Barry muttered, irritation rising in his chest. “I tried to stay away from you to get you off my mind, Oliver. Every time I look at you, I _want_ what you’re asking, but I can only think of how that will affect Iris.”

Oliver’s brow furrowed in concern. “You don’t think she’ll approve.”

“I don’t, no. If circumstances were different - if I wasn’t with Iris - I would love to accept your offer.” Even though he was the one speaking, every word stabbed a new sword through Barry’s heart, and he could tell they were doing the same to Oliver.

Oliver stepped back, putting his hand back in his jacket pocket. Barry could see the disappointment in his eyes. “I shouldn’t have come here,” he muttered, shaking his head. “You’re right, Barry. You have to think of Iris. It was stupid of me to just show up unannounced like this. I should have let you have time to talk to Iris about it first.” There was a distinct sadness to his words, which buried the swords deeper into Barry’s chest. But at the same time, there was a warmth there, a kindness that Barry wasn’t aware Oliver had. Oliver _understood_ why Barry couldn’t be with him, and that made Barry hurt with a kind of prideful pain.

But Barry’s own determination faltered. “I do have to think of Iris. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t really love her,” he said, obviously trying to convince himself more than Oliver.

Oliver nodded. “Right. So. I guess…”

Barry stepped up to Oliver and pulled him into a deep kiss by the sides of his jacket. He felt Oliver’s hands find his hips. They were strong; comforting. Barry felt the tightness inside him loosen, until he realized he was smiling as they pulled apart.

Oliver, however, just looked angry.

“You _just said_ -”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Barry cried, his happiness evaporating instantaneously into panic. “I don’t know why I did that.”

“Forget it,” Oliver muttered. He pushed past Barry, out of the guest room. Barry watched him leave in a huff, but the only thing that ran through his mind was how _good_ it had felt to have Oliver’s hands on him.

“What the hell did I just do?” Barry asked no one in particular.

“Barry? What happened?” Iris called from the kitchen. “Oliver just left looking like someone kicked his puppy.”

Approaching the kitchen, Iris noticed an insecure falter in Barry’s gait. “Sorry. I need to go for a run.”

“Everything okay?” Iris asked, giving him a concerned look.

“Yeah. I’m fine. I just need a few minutes to think.”

Iris gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Well, if you’re out late, don’t forget to lock the door when you get back.”

It was all Barry could do to just nod.

 

The wind was chillier than Oliver remembered as he exited the apartment building and his shoes hit the sidewalk. He pulled his jacket close to him and looked around, like he had forgotten where he’d parked.

“Oliver?”

Oliver turned around to see Caitlin looking at him with a sad smile on her face. She must have followed him out the door.

“Caitlin. Sorry. I’d like to be left alone right now.”

“I know, but sometimes what we want isn’t what’s best for us,” Caitlin said. She tucked her arm through his and the two of them started a slow walk down the pavement.

Despite her self-invite, Oliver didn’t mind Caitlin’s company. “So, you know what’s going on with Barry, right?” Oliver asked.

“I have my guesses,” she said. “Something along the lines of falling in love with a handsome young rogue archer?”

“You always were smart,” Oliver confirmed. The two of them chuckled.

“Listen,” Caitlin said, gripping his arm a little tighter, “Barry is a bundle of feelings right now. I didn’t know until right before you showed up, but I’d been noticing a lot of changes with his behavior over the past week. He’s really been fighting with this, I think.”

“He doesn’t want to hurt Iris,” Oliver explained.

“That’s understandable, but _can_ he hurt Iris? Is the feeling mutual?”

Oliver didn’t say anything at first. “It is. I think. I’m trying to figure it out, too.”

“That sounds logical,” Caitlin said, an air of appreciation in her tone. “But we both know love isn’t logical. It’s irrational, shows its head at the most inopportune moments, and doesn’t give a damn about what we want.”

Oliver laughed a sad laugh. “You know the worst part?”

“What’s the worst part?”

“Felicity supports the idea. She said I should explore it. See if Barry reciprocated. It...got my hopes up.”

“Not one bit of that surprises me,” Caitlin said. “Felicity is an amazing woman, and you’re lucky to have her.”

“Don’t I know it.”

“Something tells me that Iris won’t be quite as receptive to the idea.”

“That’s what Barry said, too.”

“And that’s why he told you no, and you rushed out of the apartment like someone had just run over your best friend.”

They stopped their walk and Oliver looked at Caitlin, tears in his eyes. She’d never seen him cry before, and she could barely mask her surprise. “I feel like an idiot,” he whispered.

“Love turns us all into fools at one point or another,” Caitlin said, luring him into a warm hug, there in the cold. “But, after all of this, just remember that Barry _does_ care about you.”

Oliver leaned into the hug, and Caitlin felt his arms tighten around her. “I know.”

 

The TV was on, but running on near-silent, and the tea in Barry’s hands was steaming. He cupped his hands on the mug, enjoying the warmth spreading up through his forearms, his legs covered in a blanket shared by his friend.

“Mm,” his blanket-friend said, smelling the tea in her own mug. She pushed up her glasses and gave him a dazzlingly genuine smile that Barry just couldn’t help but return in kind. “I love chamomile,” Kara cooed.

Let it be known that when the Flash has to get away from it all, he _really_ gets away from it all.

Barry took a sip of his tea, thankful to be able to rest after running fast enough to open a breach himself - he needed to show more appreciation to Cisco for those things. “Are you sure it’s okay?” he asked.

“Psh. ‘Course. Alex and I do this all the time,” Kara replied with a flip of her hand. “You, showing up in the middle CatCo. and with barely any kind of emergency, now _that_ is weird. A little alarming, really. Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

Barry cleared his throat, and Kara noticed a little extra color in his cheeks. “Did I ever thank you for coming to my wedding?” he asked.

“A few times, yeah,” Kara said with a chuckle.

“Good. Just wanted to make sure.”

Kara’s smile slowly withdrew, concern taking hold of her expression. “Barry. What’s wrong?”

With a sigh and a heavy heart, Barry started his explanation. Poorly. “I’m in love with Oliver.”

Kara raised an eyebrow. “...Sorry?”

“I’m in love with Oliver Queen. The Green Arrow.”

“Mr. Broodypants. The guy who shot you while training. _Twice._ ”

“That’s the one.”

Barry flinched as Kara turned away on the couch, processing this.

“Does she know?”

A slight hesitation. “No.”

“And he does?”

More hesitation. “Yes.”

“And he’s okay with it?”

“...He’s in love with me, too, Kara.”

Kara set her tea on the coffee table and sighed. “Whew. Barry, you’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do.”

“I know. But... _how_?”

Kara took off her glasses and tossed them onto the table. “Do you remember how you helped me when you accidentally got here the first time? With James, I mean.”

Barry nodded. “If I remember correctly, I told you that some things are okay to take your time with, but not that.”

“Right. And you know how that wound up.”

“Right.” Barry narrowed his eyes at Kara in confusion. “Not seeing the connection here, Kara.”

Kara cleared her throat. “It’s not a direct connection, but what you told me applies here. The longer you wait to deal with this, the more it’s going to scare you, and the more likely you’ll say something you didn’t mean to.”

That wasn’t difficult to believe. Barry _did_ have a habit of putting his foot in his mouth when it came to Iris, and this was a terrible time for that kind of thing to happen.

“And let’s not leave out Oliver in all of this,” Kara said, now standing up and pacing on the far side of the table.

“Oh. We talked about it, already,” Barry muttered. “I told him I didn’t want to hurt Iris. That I was trying to get him out of my head.”

Kara looked at Barry, suspicious. “So?”

“As soon as those words were out of my mouth, I kissed him,” Barry sighed, setting his own tea on the table.

“Oh, Barry…”

“I know! What am I supposed to do? I don’t want to hurt Iris, but I don’t want to…” He shook his head. “...I don’t really want to give up on Oliver, either.”

“I’m assuming that you’re not expecting Iris to take this well,” Kara pointed out. “It _is_ 2018; polyamory is a thing.”

“That’s not Iris, though.”

“Right.” Kara returned to her pacing.

Barry watched her for a moment before shrugging. “Maybe what I did was the right thing, right? Set Oliver straight, get my mind back on Iris, and forget this whole thing happened.”

“Not a good idea,” Kara replied, not even bothering to look at Barry. “In my experience, hiding feelings, or even not dealing with them head on, never ends well.”

“What do you mean?”

“You and Oliver work together on your Earth, but with that unresolved confusion between you, you won’t ever be as in sync as you once were,” Kara explained, finally stopping long enough to pick up her tea. “It’s a bad idea to leave him confused or angry about how you let things end. _Especially_ since it’s Oliver.”

Barry wasn’t quite sure he followed. “So you want me to tell Iris and Oliver that I…”

Kara nodded. “Tell them you don’t want to give up on Oliver.”

Barry felt his heart practically double in tempo. “But what about Iris?”

“She loves you, Barry. She’ll understand that you’re going through some conflicting emotions, and that you need to work through them so you can keep Oliver as your friend.”

“And you want me to tell Oliver that I want to give it a shot?” Barry wasn’t sure exactly what he was hearing, here. It sounded like a fool’s errand.

“Not exactly. He should know that you don’t want to give up on him, but also that Iris is the deciding factor in it. Without her in on the secret, Oliver is the unsavory side lover and not someone you’re genuinely interested in. He’ll have to tough it out until she knows, come Hell or high water.” Kara had stopped her pacing now, standing with her arms crossed at the far end of the couch. She looked almost pleased at her plan.

Barry sighed. “So, in short, I need to come clean with everyone and try it with Oliver.”

Kara nodded, content.

“That sounds tough,” Barry said flatly.

Kara looked down at him, and he picked up the slightest irritable variance in her smile. “Barry,” she said in the sweetest voice possible, “you ran to a _different Earth_ for an impartial opinion on what you should do. Don’t complain when I do my darndest to give it to you.”

“You’re right. Thanks.” Barry stood up and gave her a hug. “I’ll figure it out. I think I just needed to hear that all three of us deserve better than what I’m doing right now.”

Kara smiled as they pulled away. “And it’s easier to ask for permission than forgiveness, right?”

Barry chuckled. “It’s, uh, actually the other way around on my Earth.”

Kara pouted, but there was laughter in her eyes. “Oh, I know, Barry, but it’d be _terrible_ advice if I left the quote the way it was.”

The two of them settled back on the couch, tea in one hand, and Kara with a phone in the other. “Now,” she said, “I think it’s about time we ordered some pizza.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. On scale of you to me, how hungry are you?” she asked, looking at the phone quizzically.

“Oh, little girl, you can _not_ out eat me,” Barry replied with a grin.

“You’d better watch yourself, little boy, I will eat you out of my own apartment,” Kara replied with an elbow to his side. They laughed, contentedly taking up quiet space together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me!  
> I now have an end in mind for the story, and you'll be seeing it before too long.


	7. Kisses in the Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry lets Iris in on what's been going on, resulting in yet another trip to Star City to see Oliver.

The next morning, Barry awoke on the couch in his apartment, a little groggy and disoriented. He was fully clothed, with a blanket draped over him, adding to his confusion. Iris must have seen him passed out on the sofa and covered him up, but how did he-

Oh. Right. Kara. She must have had access to some stuff that they didn’t have over here on Earth 1; stuff that could still affect a speedster. Barry’s head was clear - no hangover, as usual - but he _had_ been drunk when he’d found his way home last night.

Barry ran his hand down the blanket draped over him, guilt clutching his gut. To Iris, Barry had been upset at Oliver leaving, then ran off and came back plastered, which wasn’t normal. She had to have been worried.

Sure enough, Barry found a letter addressed to him on the kitchen table as he made his way to the kitchen:

_“Barry,_

_~~I’m worried about you~~ _

_~~You came home drunk last night and~~ _

_~~Where did you go last~~ _

_Hey, babe. I left some leftovers for you in the microwave to stay warm for after Oliver left, but you never came home last night. I was pretty worried. Made a few phone calls. No one had seen you. I even called Oliver, who told me that you and I needed to talk about something. He was vague, as usual. But when you got home drunk (how did that even happen), I couldn’t be mad -_ something _is wrong, and I just want to be there for you. So. Leftovers are in the microwave still, and you let me know when you’re ready to talk._

_Love, Iris”_

The clenching in Barry’s stomach worsened, but he also felt strangely happy at the consideration his wife had put into this letter. She knew they needed to talk, which made it easier for Barry to _tell_ her that they needed to talk. He picked up his cell phone, placed oh so delicately next to the letter, looking at it in trepidation. Should he call her? It was obviously what she was implying.

Twenty seconds later, Iris picked up on the other end of the line.

“Barr?”

“Hey, Iris. You wanted me to get in touch with you.” His voice almost cracked, and he cleared his throat.

“I did.” She was quiet. Concerned. “Are you okay?”

“I, uh. No. But I’m ready to talk about it.” Lie. “Just, not over the phone. When do you plan on being back today?”

“I can be home pretty soon,” she insisted, but the cold hand on Barry’s heart stopped her.

“No. I’ll be home when you get here. I promise.”

Silence for a moment, then, “Okay. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Heart rushing and with an icy grip on his spine, Barry collapsed back onto the couch, staring up at the ceiling. He took a deep breath and a sigh, covering his face with his hands. Things were officially set in motion - there was no backing out now.

 

Iris didn’t beat around the bush in getting home, opening their front door not even an hour after they had ended their call. Barry was asleep on the couch again, one foot draped up over an arm and one arm draped down to the floor. Iris smiled warmly at the sight, but her chest ached, as well.

“Barr?” She leaned down and nudged him. He jolted awake. “Hey. I’m home. Want some coffee or something?”

“Ah. No.” Barry sat up in place and let Iris sit next to him. He rubbed his eyes as she lowered herself onto the couch, her eyes soft and full of concern.

“Kind of wanted to be awake for this,” Barry laughed.

“We don’t have to talk _now_ -”

“No, we do.” Barry said, suddenly very serious.

Iris shifted uncomfortably. “Okay. Then let’s talk.”

Barry took a deep breath. “You know I love you,” he started, but he shook his head. “That is _not_ how to start this.”

“I do know you love me,” Iris insisted. “And I understand that whatever is bothering you is _really_ bothering you. Take your time, babe.”

The corner of Barry’s mouth twitched. He really didn’t deserve Iris. “Okay,” he sighed. He looked her straight in the eye, deadpan. “I have a confession to make, and it’s not going to be easy to hear, but I know how you hate secrets being kept from you. So I’m putting it out in the open.”

Iris shifted to face Barry more directly, her face full of determination. “Okay.”

Barry’s gut clenched something fierce, and he felt adrenaline coursing through his system. Once he said this, it was _all_ out in the open. No more hiding, no more denial. He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath, and when he reopened them, Iris was smiling at him with nothing but pure love.

“You’re not the only person I’m in love with, Iris.”

Iris’s expression flinched, but not in a way that Barry could easily identify. She kept her smile, strained as it had become, and her eyes faltered with what looked like sadness, not love, but the facade persisted - one of love and support. “You’re going to have to explain that one, Barry.” Her voice was as strained as her smile, and Barry’s stomach did a nauseating flip.

“It was a recent realization,” Barry admitted. “Something that had kind of always been there, but only really brought to my attention a short while ago.”

Iris’s expression fell, concern overtaking it.

“And you know them,” Barry said, his voice breaking.

Iris no longer looked quite so supportive. “Who, Barry?”

Barry braced himself. “Oliver.” And just like that, Barry had no more secrets.

The room stilled into a cold silence as Iris searched Barry’s face for the lie. “Oliver,” she whispered. “As in _Oliver_ , Oliver. The Green Arrow.”

Barry nodded, never taking his eyes off of Iris’s.

“I don’t understand,” Iris said, her own voice cracking a bit. Barry saw the glistening in her eyes and knew she was fighting back a lot of internal screaming.

“There’s...not much to understand,” Barry admitted, a nervous hand on the back of his neck. “We’ve been friends for years now, and something happened that made me start looking at him in a different light.”

Iris’s voice was much quieter than before, but she seemed much more in control. “What happened?”

A slight hesitation. Did she need to know all of this? After a split second of deliberation, Barry realized that he owed a full explanation to her. Maybe it could help smooth it all over for her. “When Cisco and I went to Earth 47, we encountered my Earth 47 self.”

Iris didn’t say anything.

“He went by Henry, because his father was murdered instead of his mother, and he was married to Earth 47 Oliver.”

Iris raised an eyebrow. “So you fell in love with Oliver because of another Earth’s-”

“There’s more,” Barry said, stopping Iris’s inquiry. “When we were there, we asked Joe from Earth 47 for help. He said something that really acted as the catalyst for all this.”

Concern and curiosity fought for space on Iris’s face.

“When I was so shocked to hear about Henry and Oliver, Joe simply asked why.”

“Why were you shocked?”

Barry shook his head. “Why I was so sure it couldn’t be a possibility on my Earth, too.”

Iris’s eyes widened in understanding. “So what got you thinking about how you felt about our Oliver,” she whispered. She leaned forward and put a hand on Barry’s wrist. “Barry, it’s okay to have feelings for Oliver.”

He did not expect this reaction _at all_. “It is?”

Iris’s smile was hurt, but still sincere. “It’s hard for me to say, but yes, Barry. You’re human, and you can develop feelings for other people. It’s bound to happen. You’ve got a big heart, and people are naturally drawn to you. You still love me, right?”

“So much that I went to visit Kara just to figure this out,” Barry said. “Did you know that I can’t handle alien alcohol?”

A chuckle escaped Iris’s lips. “That explains the couch.”

Barry shifted forward, until his knee was up against Iris’s. “I love you, Iris West-Allen, and I don’t want this to come between us.”

“I don’t want it to, either, Barry, and I’m glad you came forward with it.” She paused, her expression wavering. “But why _did_ you come to me with this? You could have just kept it a secret and I would have never even known.”

There was that familiar crushing sensation on Barry’s heart, and he dropped his shoulders in defeat. “That’s because there’s more to this,” he said. “And it... _complicates_ things.”

Iris stared into Barry’s eyes. “It’s okay, Barry. Tell me,” she said.

“Oliver - _our_ Oliver - has feelings for me, too,” Barry said, his voice unsteady.

Iris sat up straight, her eyebrows hitched high. “Wait, what?”

Barry had to laugh. “I know. It’s crazy. But that’s why he came over yesterday - he wanted to tell me how he felt, and that he wanted to _explore_ this.”

A hand found its way to Iris’s mouth, covering what Barry was sure was a dropped jaw. “Oliver Queen has feelings for you, and he knows about your feelings for him,” she said, running everything over once more in her mind.

Barry just nodded.

“What did you say to him?” Iris asked, a severe, direct tone to her voice.

“I told him that I was trying to get over him, because I never wanted to hurt you.”

Iris hesitated. There was more. “But?”

Barry looked away, focusing instead on a framed photograph on the wall of Joe and Iris together, both happy, smiling. “I kissed him, Iris. Last night. With you, right out here. And it felt _good. It felt right._ ”

Barry closed his eyes, fully expecting Iris to slap him or start shouting, but when nothing came, he just looked over at her, his heart sinking into his gut. Iris sat in total silence, her lips pursed, her brows furrowed, with tear streaks down her face. She was visibly shaking, trying to hold in the fit of sobs she felt in her chest.

“Iris-”

“Don’t.”

She stood up from the couch, her eyes locked onto Barry. “I don’t blame you, Barry,” she said thickly, “and I don’t blame Oliver, either. There’s no blame. You can’t blame a person for having _feelings_.”

A half-smile formed on Barry’s face, and he leaned forward, ready to stand up next to her, but she took a step back and shook her head.

“But _acting_ on those feelings is different, Barry,” she hiccupped. “I get why you told me, now. You felt guilty. And you should have.”

“Iris-”

“Don’t!” she shouted. “There’s nothing you can say or do right now that will make this okay. To fix this. I need time to...time to think.” She started to move to the kitchen. “Where are my keys? I need to get out of here.”

Barry’s eyes followed her as she searched for her purse, the knot in his stomach only growing. She was visibly distraught and should absolutely not be out in the city right now. “Iris, I’ll go. Please. Stay here, stay safe.” He jumped over the couch and handed her purse to her, with her cell phone in his other hand. “Call me, Iris. Please.”

Iris took the cell phone with a tentative glance up at him, accompanied by a sniffle. “Okay. Thank you.”

“If you need someone to talk to,” Barry offered, “Caitlin figured it out last night.”

Iris nodded, not looking up at him.

“I love you, Iris.”

Iris sobbed, turning away from Barry. “I know you do, Barry. Now, please-”

Before Iris could say “go,” Barry was outside the apartment building, staring up at their living room windows, his hands in his jacket pockets. His breath floated away from him in the thick winter air.

“I’m not giving up on us,” Barry said to no one in particular, his eyes determined. He lingered for a moment, then turned away from the building and started to walk slowly down the sidewalk, his head low and his heart heavy.

 

Even the salmon ladder at the Bunker wasn’t helping. Oliver just couldn’t clear his mind of last night - seeing Barry’s face, the _kiss_ , talking to Caitlin - it just kept repeating itself in his mind, over and over. Even William had noticed his father acting strangely at breakfast, and when Felicity assured him it was nothing, Oliver could only feel like they’d just lied to their son.

“You’ve got a text,” Felicity called from the computer station.

Oliver dropped to the floor, his arms swinging uselessly at his sides. The ladder always made him feel like putty, no matter how adept he looked while doing it. “Who is it?”

“Barry.”

Oliver’s heart leaped up into his throat. “O-Oh.”

Still about thirty feet away, Felicity smiled at her husband. “Oliver Queen, are you _blushing_ right now?”

Oliver shook it off. “I don’t blush, Felicity.”

She made a noise in disbelief.

He made his way to her station and picked up his phone. Opening the text, Oliver could feel his heart thudding heavy in his chest.

_“Iris knows.”_

That was it? That’s…

“That’s maddening unhelpful,” Felicity noted, reading the text over his shoulder. “Ask him how it went!”

Oliver did so, and the reply was almost instantaneous - or was Barry already typing?

_“She didn’t take it well. I’m letting her have some space. We should talk.”_

“He’s not wrong,” Felicity said, plopping back down into her chair. “You two should get together. Talk about it. Figure it out.”

“We tried,” Oliver replied, his features tight. “Barry didn’t want to talk about it.”

“And then he _kissed_ you,” Felicity said as she spun her chair around. “You should talk.”

Oliver sighed, then pecked away at his phone.

_“Let’s talk. Where and when?”_

_“I’m on my way to Star City.”_

_“Should I get a pair of shoes ready?”_

_“Ha ha.”_

Oliver smiled, in spite of himself.

Another text popped up:

_“But yeah, a pair of shoes would be good.”_

 

There was a Star City Jitters, a new establishment, down the street from the SCPD, and it was there that Oliver had Barry meet him, new shoes in hand. Barry tried his best, and failed, to not blush when he saw the handsome man standing on the sidewalk, shoes dangling from his fingers like bait on a hook, a somewhat pleased smirk on his face.

The two ordered drinks and found a table in the corner as people bustled to and fro. Barry couldn’t stop twitching his leg, which Oliver noticed. Finally, Oliver reached out and put a comforting hand on Barry’s arm. The twitching stopped, but Barry’s face looked even more pained than before.

“So. Tell me what happened,” Oliver said, his eyes soft.

Barry relived the scene to Oliver, who was attentive, but unresponsive, throughout. When Barry got to texting Oliver, the other man finally shook his head.

“That’s...rough, Barry. I’m sorry.”

“She said she doesn’t blame either of us,” Barry said, not looking directly at Oliver, “but I do. I blame _both_ of us.”

“I’m inclined to agree with Iris, Barry, but what you’re feeling is completely valid, too.”

Barry glanced up at Oliver, who hadn’t yet taken his eyes off the speedster since they sat down, and felt the heat creep up his neck once again. “You aren’t upset by all of this?”

Oliver gave a miniscule shrug - more a twitch of his head, really. “Not really, no. You expected Iris to react poorly to this, and she did. I trusted you to involve her to keep the secrets to a minimum, and you did. As far as I’m concerned, Barry, everything that’s happened thus far has been a natural progression.”

Slumping forward in his seat, the speedster gave the archer a suspicious look. “You’re way more chill about this than you were last night.”

The corner of Oliver’s mouth tugged up in a half grin as he chuckled, the sight causing Barry’s stomach to flip. “Caitlin.”

That explained that. “She’s a good friend,” Barry said quietly, nursing his coffee.

“She is.”

The two lapsed into a long silence, Barry attached to his drink, and Oliver observing his friend.

“Barry.”

Barry looked up at Oliver, uncertainty stretched across his face.

“What do you want to do now?” It was obviously a loaded question, but Oliver knew that Barry was likely to wallow in self-pity over his situation until someone nudged him in a direction.

Barry snorted as he sat up straight, a sad smile taking over. “Honestly? Can we just go back to before I realized I was in love with someone who I wasn’t already married to?”

Features tight, Oliver shook his head. “I know _you_ could, but really, this isn’t something that I think could be solved by replaying events.”

“You’re probably right.” Barry sunk in his seat, surveying the café. “You know, this Jitters looks nothing like the one I go to.”

Oliver laughed. “Central City _worships_ you, Barry. This one doesn’t have a Flash drink or red and yellow banners all over the place.”

Realization flickered in Barry’s eyes, and he grinned. “Oh, yeah. That’s what’s different.”

“You’re avoiding the question.”

“I’m aware.”

“Barry…”

“What do you want me to say, Oliver?” At this point, Barry’s face was turning red, not out of embarrassment, but irritation. “Do you want me to divorce my wife to be with you? Would you divorce Felicity for me?”

Oliver was nonplussed. “Felicity supports this, Barry, I don’t have to consider ending anything with her.”

“Which is _bullshit_ , by the way,” Barry hissed. “How did you get off so easily on this?”

For the first time since sitting down, Oliver looked uncomfortable. His shoulders slumped a little and he averted his eyes for a moment. “I’m the luckiest guy in the world,” he admitted. His tone was much quieter, almost _sheepish_ , and Barry took note. “I wish I could make this easier for you.”

“I think the only way it could be easier was if either you or Iris weren’t in the equation,” Barry muttered. His downcast look gave made Oliver’s chest ache a little.

While Barry took another long drag from his coffee, Oliver took out his phone and pecked away at it.

“Don’t you know it’s rude to use your phone at the table?” Barry asked with a coy smirk. “What, were you raised by animals?”

“Must have forgotten my manners during my five years in the North China Sea,” Oliver chuckled, stowing his phone. “Or Russia. Or China. Or whatever.”

The two of them laughed, releasing a miniscule amount of tension.

“You’re still avoiding the question, though,” Oliver said.

Barry shrugged. “It seems like a hopeless situation.” He leaned forward and looked around, making sure no one was paying super close attention to their table, before reaching out and putting a hand on Oliver’s. He smiled as Oliver turned his hand over and held Barry’s, right there in the open.

“Barry?” The archer wore a smile, but his eyes were confused.

Barry looked down at their hands, fingers interlocked, a smile forming on his own face. “I don’t want to miss this opportunity, Ollie.” Oliver’s smile grew ever so slightly at hearing his nickname. “But I don’t want to lose Iris over it.”

Those strong, bow-callused fingers closed tighter on Barry’s hand, making his heart race ever so slightly. Oliver leaned forward, as well. “I’m not asking you to, Barry. Everything I’m offering is up to you. If you think it’s best that you stay away - get over this - then, you’re allowed to.”

“That isn’t how you felt last night,” Barry pointed out.

“Barry, I had ridden a train six hundred miles to see your face when I told you I was in love with you. Of course I was a little bitter, but it was more for the mixed signals than anything.” He nodded toward their still-interlocked fingers. “Like now. You’re telling me you want to do this, but not if Iris isn’t behind it. Yet, here we are, in public, holding hands across a café table. So, which is it, Barry?”

Barry squeezed his fingers around Oliver’s hand before they separated. “I want to be with Iris,” he said. “She’s the woman I grew up loving. But I’m not ready to give up trying, just yet.”

“Do you really think she’d go for it?” Oliver asked, an eyebrow arched up in suspicion.

“I’ve given her some time,” Barry said with a grin. “It’s up to her, now.”

“Does this mean you’re heading back to Central City?” Oliver wasn’t usually one for expressive facial expressions, but somehow Barry read _far_ more into the casual smirk on his face as he asked that question. This time, Barry _knew_ he was blushing.

The temptation to stay and spend more time with Oliver and Felicity was great, but Barry knew what kind of trouble that would cause in the short and long term. It wasn’t in his best interests to be gone for too long, even though it could take days for Iris to come around to wanting to talk to him again. “I think it does, yeah.”

“Let me walk you to the station,” Oliver offered, but Barry chuckled. Oliver caught the implication of _Barry_ using _public transportation_ and he laughed, too. “Then, at least let me walk you out.”

“Deal.” The two of them walked out of Jitters side by side, with Oliver’s hand up Barry’s back. It wasn’t romantically placed, but it did spread a kind of warmth through Barry. He realized he was smiling as they stepped out into the cold evening air.

Oliver walked with Barry for about a block before Barry turned to him and asked, “Can I maybe call you tomorrow?” he asked.

Oliver grinned. “Of course you can, but why?”

Barry shrugged. “With Iris thinking about things, I’m going to need someone to chat with, and I don’t think Caitlin is quite there yet.”

“She may surprise you.” There was an implication there that further warmed Barry’s heart: Caitlin was on their side in this.

“Listen, Barry,” Oliver said, glancing down at his gloved hands, “I know it’s kind of a bad idea, what with Iris still undecided, but-” He cut himself off, and Barry noticed a light red tinge to his cheeks. Barry wasn’t convinced it was the cold air’s fault.

“But?” Barry sought out Oliver’s gaze, and the two of them stood in the cold, their breath drifting between them, simply staring at one another for a moment.

“...Is it alright if I kiss you?” Oliver asked, and Barry smiled at the innocence in Oliver’s eyes, a sight he’d never expected to see. The man was hard, gruff, experienced - a force to be reckoned with. But here he was, hoping against hope that Barry Allen would allow him a simple goodbye kiss. Barry suppressed a laugh.

Without answering, Barry leaned in and delivered a soft, but deep, lingering kiss on Oliver’s lips. He felt Oliver’s hands up at his jaw in a moment, and soon he could feel Oliver’s tongue slipping into the mix. He put his hands on Oliver’s waist, the two of them embracing for quite some time. Barry felt warm in Oliver’s grasp, the gloves tickling his neck, and Oliver’s warm breath on his face. This wasn’t their first kiss - in fact, it was Barry’s _third_ kiss with _an_ Oliver Queen, but this one was different. It was slow. Intentional. It wasn’t anxious. It was everything Barry had wanted it to be, and more.

Their faces were both tinged redder than before when they parted. Oliver was smiling a soft, sincere smile, his eyes rimmed with what looked like tears.

Concerned, Barry focused on that. “Oliver Queen, are you crying?”

Oliver reached up and wiped his eyes. “Let’s put it this way, Barry: the next time I see you, we will either be romantically involved, which would make me cry tears of joy, or you would be telling me that we can’t see each other, which would be the worst day in recent memory.”

“Even worse than when Chase chained you to that cell floor?” Barry asked, dubious.

“Okay. One of the worst days in recent memory.” They both laughed, but it wasn’t sad. They were both genuinely happy to be standing there, hands still on one another, still only inches from a second kiss.

“I gotta go, Ollie.” The words were low, almost a whisper, and full of regret. The man who had said them clearly did not want to move.

The other man’s smile persisted, but it was sad, his eyes downcast. “Yeah, you do.” His voice, too, was quiet, like he was afraid the world would hear them.

Barry pulled away, leaving Oliver suddenly very cold on the sidewalk, and before Oliver’s blink could finish, Barry Allen had sped away. Oliver stood facing the direction of Central City, his vision blurring from a mix of the cold and the fact that he had no control over how this all was going to play out. His heart beating heavy in his chest, Oliver turned toward home, his hands in his pockets and his head low, trying not to think too much about how great that kiss had been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would just like to say that I *really* wanted Barry to prioritize Oliver, but I've played this story so close to canon in my head that it just felt bad to have him say he'd rather be with Oliver no matter what, than with Iris. Luckily, this will play into how the rest of the story will progress.
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me!


	8. Hotel Insight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions mount as Iris and Barry discuss Oliver. And then Felicity gets involved.

Three days had passed, and Barry had not heard from Iris, aside from seeing her in the Cortex for Flash-related responsibilities. Even then, she seemed distant, and rarely addressed him directly. She seemed okay with everyone else, especially Caitlin, who assured Barry that she was still thinking about the situation.

The situation finally got out to the rest of the team, though, one night when Iris left before Barry had returned from his patrols. Barry decided it wasn’t fair to the team if secrets were being kept from them, so he informed them directly.

Cisco kept going on and on about Earth 47, which just led to Barry going home early.

When Barry got home that evening - Iris had been staying with Joe after that first night - there were several text messages from the team waiting for him.

_ “It might be weird, but I’m here for you,” _ Joe said. Barry smiled. Despite being caught in the middle of this, Joe still wanted to support both of his children fully.

_ “So how was that kiss from CCPD!Oliver, eh?” _ Cisco asked. Barry rolled his eyes at this one. He didn’t have the heart to tell him that the kiss had been one of the tipping points in addressing the issue.

_ “I’ll keep an eye out for any trouble. Just take it easy, okay?” _ Caitlin’s text was the one that warmed Barry’s heart the most - she really was trying to help, and she was doing a great job of it.

But there was another text there that made Barry’s heart skip a beat.

_ “I still love you.” _ Iris’s text was short, but poignant. It carried with it a lifetime of secret crushes and longing looks. Barry felt a tear creep out the corner of his eye, but he wasn’t sure what kind of tear it was.

Barry collapsed onto the couch like he’d become so accustomed to, staring up at the high loft ceiling in spacey silence.

“Waiting shouldn’t be this painful,” he muttered, running his hand over his face. He closed his eyes to relax, and soon, fell completely asleep.

 

Finally, on the fourth day after Barry’s confession, he received a midday text from Iris.

_ “Can I come talk to you after work tonight?” _

_ “Of course. You should be the one in the loft anyway.” _

_ “Not your choice to make. I’m fine at Dad’s.” _

Barry smiled. It was probably better for her to be spending time with Joe during this, anyway. He’d look after her more closely than anyone.

_ “I know you are. I’m just worried that you’re uncomfortable.” _

_ “Me? I know you haven’t slept in the bed since I left.”  _ Barry winced. She must have visited the apartment a few times over the past four days, because she wasn’t wrong. He just couldn’t bring himself to share that big bed with no one through this mess.

_ “Anyway, I’ll talk to you tonight. I love you.” _ The last thing Barry saw was a heart emoji. He smiled. If she was still sending him emojis, they could totally move past this together.

 

That afternoon, Barry rushed home to discover Iris sitting on the couch already, Caitlin next to her. They were talking quietly as he closed the door behind him. At the sound of the locks, Iris turned and smiled at him sadly. Barry felt a lump forming in his throat, but he didn’t say anything.

“Hey, babe,” she said. Her voice wasn’t nearly as energetic as Barry would have hoped by now.

Barry sat in the armchair at the end of the couch, leaning his torso onto his knees. He nervously wrangled his hands together, noticing Caitlin had a glass of wine in front of her.  _ That can’t be good _ , Barry thought.

“Caitlin’s just here for moral support,” Iris said with an indication of their mutual friend. “This shouldn’t take long.” Her voice was strong, but quiet. She had obviously considered what she was about to say at length.

“I’m ready,” Barry said, shifting in his seat in anticipation. He could feel his heart racing, but he steadied himself as he looked Iris in the eye.

Iris took a deep breath. “Okay.” She gave Caitlin an unsteady glance, but just nodded in her direction. “Whew. Okay.”

Barry waited with baited breath.

Tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear, Iris looked him in the eye, her face serious. “I love you, Barry Allen, and I want you to be happy.”

Barry blinked. That opening was so  _ vague _ .

“And because I love you so much, and because I want you to be happy,” Iris continued, “I have decided that you need to explore this thing with Oliver.”

Barry’s eyes widened, his pulse quickened even further, and the corners of his mouth tugged up into an apprehensive smile.

Iris, however, was not smiling. “I understand that you told Oliver that you want to be with me. And I love that you want to.”

Barry’s smile diminished. He did  _ not  _ like the tone in that statement.

“But the fact of the matter is that I can’t be part of a relationship that splits its focus.”

Barry’s heart sank into his gut. “What?”

“Go be with Oliver,” Iris said. “Go, find out what you want. I’ll...still be here if you decide you want me, instead of him.”

Caitlin took a sip of wine as Barry looked between the two of them in shock.  _ This _ is what Caitlin had helped her come to decide?

“Iris, that’s not-”

Iris gave him a stern look, tears lining her eyes. “Do you love Oliver?”

Barry shook his head, still a little dumbstruck. “Yes, but-”

“Do you love me?”

“Of course!”

“I love you, Barry. And you  _ deserve _ to be happy. If Oliver makes you happy, then-”

“I told him I would happily take you over him,” Barry cried, falling onto his knees in front of her. He put his hands in her lab, and she seemed unable to speak. “You’re the love of my life, Iris. I might be in love with him, but he’s not my soulmate.  _ You  _ are.”

Caitlin watched Iris’s face very carefully. Iris just stared, wide-eyed, into Barry’s eyes, a tear trickling down her cheek. “Barry, I-”

“If you want me to be with you, then  _ I am with you _ ,” Barry insisted. His eyebrows had this terrible tendency to curve upward when he was upset, and Caitlin wasn’t sure she’d ever seen him  _ this  _ upset.

“Barry.” Iris’s voice was barely anything more than a whisper. “I can’t take something away from you like that. It hurts too much to think that I’m putting you through any kind of pain.”

“It would be more painful to lose you.” His voice was strong. Resolute. Iris knew he believed what he was saying.

The corner of Iris’s mouth tugged up into a sad half-smile. “And that’s what makes this so hard,” she whispered. “You don’t  _ know _ if Oliver is your soulmate, Barry. And it’s not my place to stop you from finding out.” She stood to her feet, leaving Barry kneeling in front of the couch, tears in his eyes. “I love you, Barry.”

This wasn’t happening. Barry could feel his whole world slipping away as Iris moved out of arm’s reach. “Iris,  _ stop! _ You’re not making any sense!” He was on his feet in a flash, but didn’t make a move to follow her. “I’m sorry I fell in love with someone! I’m yours, Iris! Please!”

“The fact that you’ve fallen in love with another person isn’t the problem, Barry,” Iris said, her back to him. Her voice was steady, but he could hear the tears in her breath. “The problem is that I don’t want you to miss out on being  _ with _ that person. You have to be able to be with Oliver.”

“But if I lose you over it-”

“That’s just what you think right now,” Iris said, finally looking over her shoulder at him. Her cheeks were slick with tear stains. “If I tell you to only be with me, to give up on Oliver, would you  _ really _ be okay with that?”

Barry faltered. He wanted to say yes, but just a few days ago, he told Oliver he’d fight for them, as well. The conflict in his chest reached his face, and Iris noticed. She nodded, full well knowing the answer.

“And it isn’t just Oliver, Barry. Your heart is so big, and your love so all-encompassing. It would probably happen again. And again. And each time, you’d choose me. You’d ignore your heart. And you’d come to resent me, Barry. And, above all else,  _ that _ is what I don’t want to happen.” She sniffled. “I love you too much to  _ make _ you push me away. So I have to be the one to push.”

“Iris, wait. We can talk about this-” But Barry knew those words were a lie. The truth of the matter was that Iris was right: Barry was invested just enough in Oliver now that forcing him to choose her  _ would _ cause resentment. This way, they could heal apart and continue being friends, at least.

Caitlin stood to her feet, not really sure which one to stand next to. She made a move toward Iris, but the shorter girl shook her head. “I’m fine, Caitlin. Thank you.” She smiled at Barry, and it cracked every window he’d ever seen her through. “I need some time alone. Don’t worry about me.”

Barry watched as Iris left the loft, a shock of adrenaline signaling a piece of him dying with every step she took. When the door closed behind her, Barry fell back onto his knees, eyes latched onto the door handle across the room.

Caitlin moved to Barry’s side and placed what she had hoped was a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Barry,” she said. It felt like she was talking to a toddler. “I tried to talk her out of it, but you…”

“I know how Iris is,” Barry said through a sniffle. He wiped a tear from one eye and allowed a tear to fall from the other. “Do you mind, Cait? I...I need to be alone.”

“Of course.” She squeezed his shoulder and followed Iris out of the loft, leaving Barry alone, still kneeling in front of the now-empty couch. He leaned forward, squeezing out the tears, and he screamed.

He screamed at no one. He screamed at himself. He screamed at Oliver. At Iris. Even at Caitlin. But he screamed, and when the screaming ceased, the crying began. He collapsed into the couch cushions, his legs still firmly on the floor, sobbing into the seats. He didn’t care if anyone heard him or saw him.

Forehead pressed up against the couch cushion, Barry sniffled into the silence of the loft. When he spoke, he spoke only in a whisper, to no one. “I’m sorry, Iris. I’m sorry.”

 

Oliver’s phone buzzed in his pocket. It took him a second to dig it out, but he nearly dropped it when he realized who was calling. As quickly as he could, he answered it. “Barry?”

Barry’s voice was tight. Tired. He’d been crying. Oliver heard a sniffle before any words came through. “Ollie. She’s gone.”

Nausea smashed into Oliver, and he found a place to sit down very quickly. He stared ahead in a cold sweat, unblinking. “Barry, I-”

“She said she was afraid I would resent her for telling me to not be with you.”

Oliver suddenly felt a little less empathetic. “You mean she was going to ask us to stop?”

“I think so, yeah. But Caitlin managed to convince her that it wasn’t good for our friendship if she did, so she did the next best thing: she pushed me away, instead.”

Neither man said anything for a moment.

“I don’t blame you, Ollie.” The bundle of knots in Oliver’s chest untied, allowing him to relax. “This just isn’t how I wanted things to go.”

“Me neither, Barry,” Oliver said softly. “I’m so sorry. Maybe we can find her and-”

“No, Oliver. I’m done trying. She,” he paused, swallowing hard. “She’s made her up mind.”

“Are you sure?”

His response took a moment. He obviously wanted to say no, but his voice was clear when he replied. “I’m sure, Ollie.”

“Do you need me to do anything?” Oliver felt like he was the worst person in the world. All of this had happened because  _ he _ had confessed to having feelings for Barry. If he’d been more discreet about it, or even ignored those feelings, then Iris-

No. He couldn’t think like that. Iris was an adult, and was making choices, same as Barry or Oliver. This was a terrible way to react to it, but if it was the way she wanted to handle the situation, no one could really stop her.

“No. I don’t think so. I’ll...I’ll be in touch.”

Oliver felt the pit in his stomach growing. Barry really shouldn’t be alone right now, but Oliver was six hundred miles away. “Okay. You call me if you need  _ anything _ .”

“I will.” Barry sounded so defeated. It tore out Oliver’s heart and stomped on it.

“Hey, Barry?”

“Yeah?”

“This might be the worst time ever, but...I love you.” That stupid tightness in his chest was back, and Oliver almost choked out the last three words. He didn’t regret saying it; he smiled, despite the situation.

After a considerable moment of Oliver’s heart feeling like it wanted to strangle him, Barry replied softly with, “I know. I love you, too.”

They hung up, leaving Oliver seated on the front steps of the CCPD while he waited on Dinah, his heart hammering in his chest, his breath caught in his throat.

“Oliver?” Felicity approached from behind, gingerly placing herself on the steps behind him. “Oliver, what’s wrong?”

Oliver shook his head, staring ahead blankly. “I’m a homewrecker, Felicity.”

Felicity shook her head, trying to wrap her mind around that. “A what now?”

“Iris left Barry.” His voice was small. Choked.

Felicity immediately deposited herself right behind him, wrapping her arms around him from behind. Neither of them said anything, simply sitting together in the cold.

 

That evening, Barry arrived at STAR Labs with a heavy plod in his steps. Despite everything that was going on, he was still the Flash, and Central City still needed help fighting off dangerous criminals. Looking around the Cortex, he saw Cisco, Caitlin, and Joe, but Iris was understandably absent. In fact, Barry was pretty sure he wouldn’t be seeing her in the Cortex for a while.

Caitlin saw Barry drag his feet into the room, standing to her feet immediately. “Barry,” she said, “you look terrible. Did you eat today?”

Barry nodded, plopping down in a chair near the wall. He held his head in his hands, not saying anything.

“I thought this was going to be over after today,” Joe whispered to Caitlin, who shook her head.

“Have you talked to Iris today, Joe?” Caitlin asked quietly.

No, no he hadn’t.

A sigh followed his answer, and Caitlin returned to her seat at the computer station. “This is going to be a rough few weeks.”

Joe brought out his cell phone and called Iris, but she didn’t pick up. The voicemail recording message sounded. After the beep, Joe said, “Hey, baby. Find me when you need to, okay? I love you.”

Joe hung up and looked over at Barry, who practically radiated misery in that chair. “This can’t be good for the Flash,” Joe muttered, giving Cisco a high arched eyebrow. Cisco agreed.

“Hey, Barr,” Cisco said, shuffling over to Barry’s chair. “Let’s go watch a movie. Forget patrols for tonight. Joe can call in a favor at the precinct if something comes up.”

“Sure. You two go take your minds off of things,” Joe called.

“Not really feeling much like a movie right now.” Barry’s voice was broken, like he’d been screaming for hours. Caitlin wondered if that wasn’t exactly what had happened.

“Well, you can’t mope in the Cortex,” Cisco ordered. “Let’s go.” He pulled Barry up and slung an arm over his shoulder. “We’re going to get you some endorphins one way or another. To the speed lab!”

Barry allowed Cisco to practically drag him out of the Cortex without any complaints, leaving Caitlin and Joe concerned.

“We need to talk to Iris,” Caitlin urged. “This is the worst I’ve ever seen Barry’s morale. It could be damaging if we let this continue.”

“I tried, but she didn’t pick up,” Joe agreed. “Unless we can figure out where she is physically, our hands are tied.”

Caitlin gave him a snarky grin, something that Joe wasn’t used to seeing from her. “I know  _ just _ the girl for the job.”

 

Central City had never felt so...unwelcoming. Felicity shivered as she pulled her jacket close around her as she and Oliver approached a hotel to be checked in. Felicity  _ knew _ this was a bad idea, being here so soon, but she couldn’t just tell Oliver  _ no _ \- he was chasing the man he loved.

But as Oliver signed them into the hotel, her phone buzzed. Caitlin’s voice rang clear on the other end. “Felicity, I’m glad I caught you. Can you do a little magic for us?”

Felicity looked around for any suspicious fellows loitering in the lobby of the...yeah, it was probably safe. “Sure, Caitlin, what’s up?”

“Can you track Iris’s cell phone for us?”

“Well, sure, but can’t Cisco do it?”

“He’s tending to Barry at the moment.”

Oof. Yep. Felicity felt a sharp guilt arrow through her back. “Mm hmm. I can do it. Give me a few minutes to get connected to the wifi at this hotel.”

“Hotel? Where are you?”

Crap. Was it safe for Caitlin to know they were in Central City? Felicity shot a worried look at Oliver, who didn’t notice. Executive decision time. “We’re in Central City,” Felicity said, squeezing her eyes shut and praying that-

“That’s a terrible idea,” Caitlin replied flatly.

Busted. “Oh, I know, but it’s Oliver. Can’t tell him no about some things, and it seems that one of those things is Barry.”

Caitlin started to reply, but Felicity opened her eyes to notice a familiar, dark-skinned woman pass by the lobby, heading to the elevator. “Wait. Iris?”

“Iris? Where?”

“Here. In the hotel.” Felicity leaned forward to watch Iris turn the corner to the elevator lobby. “Caitlin, I’m going in.”

“Wait, no-” But Felicity had already hung up.

“OliverIloveyoubutI’llberightbackjustleavethedoorcracked,” Felicity called to Oliver, who watched his wife disappear around the corner in utter confusion.

Felicity stalked Iris to the guest hallway on the first floor, and watched from a safe distance to see which door she was in. Knowing that this was absolutely, positively the  _ worst _ thing she could be doing given her position within the situation, Felicity took a deep breath and mustered up the courage she needed to act now. She strode up to the door she’d seen Iris enter through, stopping only long enough to let out a long breath before reaching up and rapping on the door.

“Yes?” It was definitely Iris’s voice on the other side of the door.

The door had a peephole, but Felicity didn’t want that to be how Iris found out. “I’m guessing you wouldn’t believe me if I said ‘room service,’ would you, Iris?”

There was a pregnant silence, then, “Go away, Felicity.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Iris. I’m sorry. This is the wrong way to talk to you, but you’re not exactly perfect about not overreacting tonight. Can I please come in?”

“No.”

“Okay, let’s try this again, sweetie, because that was me being polite. I can dismantle the lock on this door and be inside faster than you can get the windows open.”

“There are physical locks, too.”

“If you make me, I  _ will _ bring Oliver over here to handle those.”

Another long silence, then the door clicked open with hesitation. Iris stood there, looking like she’d just been busted for lifting a candy bar at the store and her parents had found out.

“What are you doing here, Felicity?”

Felicity gave a relieved smile. “It’s exactly what it seems like. Can I please come in?”

Iris moved out of the way, allowing Felicity into her hotel room. It was small for the price she knew Oliver was paying for one on the third floor. Looking around Felicity couldn’t help but feel like they were being ripped off.

“Make it quick,” Iris muttered. “I’m about an hour behind on my pity party.”

Felicity sat on the end of the solitary bed, her eyes fixated on Iris. “See, I don’t  _ do _ pity parties for people who put themselves into those situations, Iris.”

Iris poured herself a drink from a stash she obviously had brought in herself. “If you’re going to be mean, you can leave.”

Felicity bowed her head, accepting that. “No, you’re right. I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. Except it wasn’t, because you did this to yourself, Iris.”

“I know,” Iris said, hanging her head. “But can you tell me what else I can do?”

“I don’t know, maybe  _ not _ push away the best thing that’s ever happened to you?” She patted the bed next to her, and Iris reluctantly followed orders. Felicity gave her a side hug and noticed a half-crooked smile on her face. “See? She does live.”

“Do you know how Barry’s holding up?” Iris asked.

Felicity looked down at her hands. “Not exactly, but I know it destroyed him. Oliver said he sounded like he’s just watched both of his parents die again.”

Iris closed her eyes, trying to fight back the tears she knew would betray her. “So that’s why you’re here?”

“To comfort Barry, yeah.” Felicity let out a sad laugh. “I told Oliver it was a terrible idea, that Barry needed more time to process things before-” She trailed off, noticing the tear falling slowly down Iris’s cheek. “Hey. Iris. Listen to me.”

Iris looked over at her, a tear similarly trekking down her other cheek.

“Are you listening to me?”

“Mm hmm.”

“What you did may have felt like the right thing to do. I get it. But you need to be honest with me, and with yourself, and with Oliver and Barry, about why you did it.”

“I don’t want Barry to hate me for telling him no,” Iris whispered through the sobs starting up in her chest.

Felicity shook her head. “Iris, I’m sorry, but we both know that’s not the real reason.”

Iris’s eyes widened and she looked almost offended. “What?”

“What do you think I said when Oliver told me about Barry?” Felicity asked.

Iris shook her head. “I don’t know. Go for it?”

“I asked him if that would make him happy, to chase a love. He said it would.”

“But what about you?” Iris asked, confusion interrupting the tears.

There it was. Felicity smiled. “That didn’t take long.”

“What didn’t?”

“You don’t know what you just said, do you?”

“What do you mean?”

She really had no idea. “Iris, I understand. You don’t realize it, but you’re scared that Barry will leave you for Oliver, if you let them see each other.”

Iris shook her head. “No, that’s not-”

“You just asked me ‘what about you?’ Iris, it isn’t  _ about _ me. It’s about Oliver. And Barry.” Felicity’s smile was wide now, her eyes kind.

“That’s why I-”

“If some random, beautiful woman had been the one to ask Barry out in front of you, Iris, how do you think you would have reacted?”

Iris put some thought into that. She’d be... _ angry _ . She’d be upset that someone could think that they could just waltz up to the two of them and ask to date Barry, with her there. But she’d also...trust Barry, because she knew she was the only woman for him.

“I’d be upset with the woman, but I’d...I’d trust Barry to make the right decision,” she said slowly.

Felicity’s smile turned into a full-blown grin. “Aha. Now, replace that woman with Oliver. How does that image make you feel?”

A strange murk flooded Iris’s hypothetical situation. She...she didn’t know. Every time she tried to picture Oliver there, the image became clouded. Hazy.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “Why don’t I know?”

“Because there are  _ differences _ there, Iris. What are they?”

“Well, obviously, Oliver is a man. And a friend. And an ally.” She choked on the last word, realizing what Felicity was trying to get her to say. “I’m not jealous of some random woman, but I’m jealous of Oliver, because he has a history with Barry. A strong history of trust and bravery.” Her eyes teared up as she looked over at Felicity. “He’s a great person. He’s strong and brave and courageous and handsome and have you seen his arms-”

“Oh, I’ve seen a lot more than his arms, honey.” Felicity chuckled, and Iris did too.

“I was scared Barry would discover that he loved Oliver more than he loved me,” Iris said out loud, her expression shifting into...annoyance. “That’s crazy. I  _ know _ how much he loves me! We’re…”

Felicity made an obnoxiously knowing grin. “What? Soulmates? Because you are.”

Iris could barely wrap her mind around this. She’d somehow managed to trick herself into thinking Oliver could take Barry away from her, despite all the people around her telling her otherwise. “Why did I do that?” she asked. “Why did  _ I _ change the narrative?”

“Jealousy is a powerful emotion, and a sneaky one,” Felicity said, falling back and lying on the bed with her feet still dangling toward the floor. “Your subconscious was afraid, but knew that you had enough logic to piece together that Oliver isn’t some random woman. You needed a reason to push him away, one that Barry would believe.”

“And what I told him made sense,” Iris said quietly. “I...I tricked Barry into accepting me pushing him away.” She looked down at her left hand, where the wedding ring still sat on the appropriate finger. She hadn’t had the courage to remove it yet. Good. “I can’t believe I did all this. I did this to him.”

Felicity laughed from behind Iris. “You did, but you can undo it!”

“Do you think I can?” Iris turned to look down at Felicity, their eyes locking onto each other immediately. There was a kindness there, a strange familiarity that Iris hadn’t known in Felicity thus far. She smiled.

“I think you can try,” Felicity replied, quieter this time. “But before you do, you should really think about what all this means.”

“What do you mean?”

Felicity sat up and faced Iris on the bed. “We will be married to two men who are in love with each other. They will go off together. On dates. On sleepovers. Sex might be involved, I don’t know.” Iris cleared her throat, trying - and failing -  _ not _ to think of Oliver naked with Barry. “They’ll take  _ us _ on dates. Together. There will be...a break-in period, I’m sure. Schedule arrangements for get togethers. It won’t be easy.”

“Love isn’t easy, Felicity,” Iris said, flinching at her own cliche. “Why are you telling me this? Are you suddenly telling me not to go back to Barry?”

“What? Oh, God no. But I’m telling you this because if you do ask Barry to come back to you - which he undoubtedly will, that boy is  _ nuts _ for you - you’re going to be getting two extra people in your life. Wherever Oliver goes,  _ I  _ go. Three people, if you count William.” Felicity looked like she was calculating something in her head for a moment. “Yeah, William should know, but probably not for a while. It’d probably freak the kid out a little, having so many parental figures all of a sudden.”

Iris couldn’t help but smile. Ever since she was a kid, family has been her biggest priority. She had Barry to thank for that, actually. “It would take some adjusting,” she said, “but I think I could get used to having two extra people around. For Barry’s sake.”

Felicity grinned. “She  _ can _ be taught!”

Iris could feel her heart light in her chest for the first time all week. It had been a serious issue avoiding Barry, but now she felt as though she could power through a hurricane in order to see him. “I...I still have some reservations about the whole thing, but I think I’m willing to give it a try. For Barry.” Those last two words were spoken through a wide smile.

Felicity leaned in and hugged Iris tight. “I’m so happy to hear you say that, Iris.” She leaned back. “Before you talk to Barry, though, I think you should talk to Oliver.”

Iris’s smile disappeared and she shook her head. “I don’t know, Felicity. What if I say something absolutely terrible to him, or say something that  _ Barry _ can’t forgive?”

“That’s why you have me, silly. Now, let’s go. We’re up on the third floor, paying way too much for these crappy rooms.”

The girls found Oliver in their room on the third floor just like Felicity anticipated. Upon seeing Iris, Oliver stood to full attention, his shoulders squared and his jaw clenched. He wasn’t afraid of her, but given their circumstances, he had a few choice words for her.

“Oliver, I think you should listen to Iris,” Felicity said. Oliver relaxed about a millionth of a percent, but it was enough. “Okay. Iris? What would you like to say?”

Iris looked Oliver queen, the Green Arrow, dead in the eye, determination glinting in her own. “This is my fault, and I’m going to fix it.”

Oliver’s brow furrowed in confusion.

Iris gave Felicity a confident glance before looking back at Oliver and saying, “Let’s go get our Barry back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for making it here with me, to this penultimate chapter of my first-ever slow burn fic, which, as it turned out, wasn't really that slow of a burn after all.  
> Fun fact: while I was writing the first scene, where Barry breaks down, "Running Home to You" was running through my head. It's the perfect song for the scene to me, because Barry still believes it, and still wants it. I really liked that influence.  
> I've learned a lot through this experience, and it's the loyal readers keeping my spirits up that have allowed me to get this far.  
> The next chapter's going to be long and will be pretty complicated to write, so let's finish strong!


	9. Love Across Worlds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Iris and Oliver attempt to reconcile and approach Barry about the situation, things go horribly, horribly wrong.

Oliver had barely had time to set his things down in the hotel room before Iris and Felicity had come bursting in, guns blazing. His muscles tense and his face stern, the archer had not been anticipating such an aggressive approach from Iris of all people, but one look at Felicity’s confident, grinning face told him that she could be trusted. After the initial shock of their intrusion, Felicity suggested they walk and talk at the same time, offering the option of heading toward STAR Labs to confront the situation with Barry.

Oliver wasn’t so sure, having heard Barry on the phone earlier that day, and the last thing he wanted to do was put Barry through any more harrowing experiences. Felicity insisted, claiming that this was something that Iris had to do for both her own sake and Barry’s. Begrudgingly, the archer had agreed, although he wasn’t sure how comfortable he was sharing space with Iris - it was easy to place the blame of Barry’s condition on her at this point.

The chill in the night air forced Iris to pull her jacket closer around her, Felicity doing much the same with her own. The three of them had barely hit the sidewalk when Oliver asked, “You say you want to help, but Barry is in a fragile state right now, Iris. Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“If I’m being honest,” Iris replied slowly, “no. This is a terrible idea.”

Oliver stopped, turning stiffly to her. Looking back at him, Iris saw a scowl forming, which gripped something inside her tight. “If you’re aware of that, why put him through it?” His voice was quiet and intentional. He looked straight through her, that gripping sensation tightening with each passing second. Was she potentially causing additional stress to Barry? Probably. And she felt terrible for it. But he needed to know that she had made a mistake, and a phone call felt so impersonal, especially after how she’d handled the last conversation with him.

And, to be honest, Iris needed this, too.

“I…” Iris fought to find the words, and the cold air stung her eyes as they began to tear up. Oliver stared her down, his stance still rigid. Felicity watched Iris with worry in her eyes as the latter shook away the cold, wiping a tear in the process. “I don’t know what you want me to say here, Oliver. I love Barry, and I hurt him. I have to make that right.”

“And that involves me, how?” The grit in his voice was intentional. He was slipping into his vigilante voice with her, separating his emotion from his words as best he could. At the same time, there had been a slight break, almost imperceptible, but Iris had caught it. He was losing to his emotions just at the simple mentioning of Barry. The tight grip on her chest relaxed, determination taking its place. Was he really that oblivious to his involvement in this? Internally, Iris chided Oliver for his habit of keeping his emotions at arms’ length.

“You love him, too.” The words pierced Oliver’s armor instantly, and he faltered. “You need to see him happy, Oliver. You’ve seen how badly I hurt him - I _destroyed_ that option. This might be selfish, it might be the worst possible idea, but he has to hear that I know that I made a mistake. The two of us are meant to be with him.”

There was a slight twitch along Oliver’s right eye as he processed that statement. “Wait,” he said, shifting defensively. “You _want_ me to be with him?”

Silent, Felicity observed this vocal volley, an occasional shiver intruding her thoughts. Could they not be walking right now?

“I do.” Iris slowly approached the archer, her eyes as resolute as he’d ever seen them. “Barry is my soulmate, Oliver, and I am his. But that doesn’t stop a heart as big as his from loving others. I had trouble accepting that. I’m still not really sure I’ve wrapped my head around it yet,” Iris admitted, giving Felicity a quick smile. “But I’m not the important one here. I understand that now. No matter my stance on the situation, Barry deserves to be as happy as he can be, and that means adding you to the equation, not removing myself from it.”

Oliver didn’t move, didn’t say anything. His eyes bore holes in her expression, looking for the lie. When he couldn’t find one, he relaxed ever so slightly. His eyes moved to look at the shivering Felicity, followed quickly by the rest of his head, his expression falling into concern. When he looked back at Iris, his eyes were hard, but hopeful. “I believe you,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Let’s go.”

With Oliver walking in the middle, the three returned to their rather brisk trek towards STAR Labs, but now with a full blown conversation occurring between Iris and Oliver regarding Barry. Felicity couldn’t help but smile, even though she couldn’t contribute as easily.

“Aren’t you concerned that Barry will respond badly to the fact that you’ve just magically changed your mind over the course of an evening?” Oliver asked. The question visibly pained Iris, almost causing her to flinch at its abrupt truth. It _had_ been a pretty topsy-turvy day for all of them.

“I have no excuse. Felicity helped me realize that what I’d done was thickheaded. It was selfish. I was protecting myself, not Barry. I know it’s a bit of a flip-flop, but I can’t let him go another day thinking I’ve pushed him away like I did.” She sighed. “And I don’t care how Barry reacts - this is my truth.”

“That’s pretty selfish, too, you know,” Oliver countered, and Iris nodded. “There’s a chance that Barry won’t accept your apology.”

“I’m prepared for that. But even if he doesn’t, he’s heard it, and he knows how I truly feel. If that’s how he wants to proceed, that is the bed I’ve made, and I have to lie in it.”

Her voice was strong and filled with what Oliver believed was a self-evident truth. Iris really did want to do this. He felt her hand grab his arm, drawing his attention to the stern look in her eyes. Not one to back down from such an obvious challenge, Oliver squared his shoulders to her.

“I know what I’m doing is stupid and selfish,” Iris said, her eyes hard. “And Barry may not accept my apology. But if that’s the case, Oliver, you have to take care of him.” His eyebrows raised in mild surprise at how direct she had turned the conversation. “He loves you. He’ll be depending on you to help him move past this. Can you promise me that you’ll do that? You’ll help him-” Her voice cracked and she swallowed hard, preparing for the words she was trying to say. “You’ll help him get over me?”

The man’s expression softened and his posture relaxed. The look he gave Iris made her feel trapped, like someone pitying a caged animal. She stood as tall as she could, her gaze unwavering. Oliver nodded. Just once, a single, minor movement. But seeing it brought Iris down from the edge of her emotional cliff, her heart thumping hard in her chest. She knew she could rely on him, the man who was in love with Barry Allen.

With a smile, Iris started walking again, Oliver and Felicity at her side.

“So what are you going to say to him when we see him?” Oliver asked, eyes ahead.

Iris’s sigh blasted a cloud of breath out in front of her. “I haven’t gotten that far. I’m going to apologize, obviously. Tell him pretty much what I told you. And then, probably, I’m going to bow out, and let you talk to him.”

Oliver looked down at Iris, confusion marring what would be a touching exchange of smiles. “I can’t just tell him to accept your apology, Iris. I can’t control Barry.”

She already knew this, but her smile faded a little. “I’m not asking you to. But I need him to know that I trust him with you, and that there _isn’t_ anything to be afraid of, for me _or_ for him. I need to prove to him that I want him to be happy, and that means involving you and stepping back.” She closed her eyes in contemplation for a moment, lightly bumping into Oliver as she walked. “The only reason I’m going to STAR Labs is to emphasize how important this is by being there in person; otherwise, I would have been content to call him and just let you talk to him in person.”

They fell into silence, Oliver’s eyes falling to the ground in front of him. Iris was really placing a lot of faith in his ability to talk with Barry, but _talking with Barry_ had always been a problem for Oliver. Hell, before this all started, Oliver hated it whenever Barry tried to hug him, let alone being open about his feelings. But Iris was putting the fate of their situation on him, and, God willing, he wouldn’t fuck it up, now for her sake in addition to his.

Oliver felt a light touch on his arm from Felicity, bringing his attention back up in front of him. The three of them came to a stop, opposite a woman in what looked like combat boots and biker gloves, her hair long and wavy and her head cocked to the side in an aggressive smirk. Looking down at Iris, Oliver noticed her confused expression.

“Gypsy?” Iris called. Her voice was light, but contained a twinge of concern. Oliver mentally prepared himself for trouble, focusing on the lithe looking woman in front of them.

“Sorry, Iris,” the woman said back, a sardonic smirk plastered across her otherwise beautiful face. “Not this time. I do hope you’ll forgive me, but I’ve got this problem that I think you can help me with.”

Oliver tensed up as the woman raised her hands toward them, palms open. “Iris, run!” But before Oliver could even make a move, the air between the newcomer and Iris shimmered as waves of energy blasted forth. A breach opened underneath Iris, who, slammed by the nearly invisible energy, fell helplessly through. She screamed, her form disappearing in an instant, the breach closing directly behind her.

His breathing heavy and his eyes wide, Oliver stared for just a moment at the place in the concrete where Iris had fallen through, then his attention turned to the strange woman in front of them. “What did you do?” he shouted, anger taking over his stance and his expression. Felicity backed up, not sure how to contribute to this situation.

“Don’t worry about her, she’s safe,” the woman retorted. “And as long as the Flash stays off of my trail, she’ll remain that way.”

Oliver narrowed his eyes at her, subconsciously taking in every possible route from his stance to hers, none of which allowed appropriate cover to attack a breacher. “Is that what you want? The Flash to leave you alone?” Keep her talking, Oliver. Barry had mentioned a rogue breacher in his story about Earth 47, so it would make sense that STAR Labs was monitoring for similar energy readings. If he could keep her here-

“It is,” the woman said, crossing her arms. “Tell the Flash that Portal is off limits, if he ever wants to see Iris again.”

Was that a name? God, but Oliver hated all these metahuman nicknames. “Portal?”

A grin and a cocky shrug. “Yep. Now, I’m leaving, and I intend on not being followed.”

“Not likely.” The words were growled, but Oliver still couldn’t see a way to approach this new adversary.

With her arms still crossed, Portal leaned over and flicked her wrist at the ground, where a new breach opened up, swallowing her in but a moment. It closed directly after her, leaving Oliver and Felicity with little more than a rush of adrenaline to show for it.

Seconds later, the Flash streaked up in a ball of lightning, coming to a full stop almost exactly where Portal had breached away. Looking around, Barry didn’t seem to see Oliver or Felicity until he realized the breacher wasn’t present. As soon as he noticed Oliver, his face paled.

“Ollie. What are you-”

“Never mind that now, Barry,” Oliver said, practically stomping his way past the speedster on his way to STAR Labs. Felicity was hot on his heels. “We need to get to the lab. Your rogue breacher has Iris.”

There was silence for a moment, which gave Oliver a moment of pause. He turned to see Barry remove his cowl, his eyes already nearing panic.

“She took Iris?” His words were mere whispers.

“No. You’re not doing this, Barry.” Oliver approached the speedster and looked him square in the eye. “This has been one of the worst days of your adult life, Barry Allen, but this is _not_ the time to reflect. This is the time for action. Iris is in danger. If I were in your shoes, I would want to go on a rampage and probably make some really awful decisions. Knowing you, you’re about to fall apart and withdraw until someone helps you realize that you’re stronger than that. But Barry. Barry, look at-” Barry averted his eyes and Oliver forced himself into Barry’s line of vision several times. “Look at me, Barry.”

Almost begrudgingly, Barry did so. His eyes conveyed a mixture of emotions, ranging from annoyance to anger to sadness and back. But that wasn’t important - Oliver knew what _was_ important, which was invoking the Scarlet Speedster’s natural disposition to hope.

“You _are_ stronger than that, Barry. You’re made of tougher stuff than anyone knows. And I’m sorry you’re hurting. I’m sorry I had a part in what made you feel this way. And I wish I could fix all of this,” Oliver said, his voice thick. “I wish there was some miracle that could change everything for the better for you. But there’s not. You have to do it yourself. Iris needs our help, yours most of all. So get your cowl back up, and get us to STAR Labs. We’ve got a breacher to chase.”

Barry blinked several times, registering what he’d just heard. Oliver was sticking up for Iris, after what he knew? He was taking blame for this clusterfuck of a situation? But the look in his eyes...Barry shivered. “Right. Yeah. You’re right. Break down later. Save Iris now.”

Oliver cracked a half-smile and his expression relaxed. “Good man.”

Barry bowed to Oliver, a grin on his face. “May I?” he asked.

“What-”

And suddenly, the three of them were zooming across the city.

 

The Cortex was bustling with activity, between Cisco and Felicity attacking keyboards, Caitlin reading satellite imaging, and Joe and Oliver surveying their efforts with both active and passive concern, respectively. The computer screens kept changing faster than Oliver knew what was happening, and even Caitlin’s observations seemed a little out of his comfort zone. He shifted his weight nervously, his arms crossed in front of him.

Similarly feeling helpless, Joe leaned over to Oliver and whispered, “Where’s Barry?”

“He’s trying something different this time,” Oliver replied, not taking his eyes off of the geek squad frantically conducting their search. “He wanted to hide away, but instead he’s channeling some anger in the speed lab.” As if on cue, a frustrated shout bounced down the hall from the lab, followed by a foundation-rattling vibration. Joe ducked for cover for a moment, then stood up, staring down the hall. Oliver chuckled to himself. “I think it’s working.”

“Got it!” Cisco’s declaration resounded through the Cortex, an arm raised in the air. Everyone turned their heads to him, waiting. “No. Wait. Nevermind.” His arm fell to the keyboard and the furious typing resumed.

Caitlin shook her head, observing on her screen the results that Cisco’s algorithm had put together. “That’s the middle of the Atlantic, Cisco. There aren’t even any islands there.”

“I _know_ , thanks.”

“So what I don’t understand,” Oliver started, a little cautiously, “is that they’re searching _our_ Earth for Portal, but she’s a breacher. She could have stepped out to any Earth, right?”

“Yes and no,” Felicity replied, not looking up from her screen.

Caitlin nodded. “You’re mostly right, Oliver. Portal is looking for a safe spot to hide, but she’s wanted on so many Earths, her breaching is going to be a tell almost no matter where she goes. We talked with Breacher and Gypsy more about it earlier this week: breaching is so disruptive to space-time that it’s measurable from _other worlds_ . Now that we know that, we’re scanning other possible safe spots on other Earths, but it’s not likely she jumped ship. The reason we couldn’t find her on other Earths when Barry and Cisco looked for her was that she was hiding on _this_ one. With all the breaching we do here, her trail was easy to lose.” She sighed. “Honestly, that should have jumped out at us as a possibility, and we just failed to recognize it.”

“Don’t beat yourself up, Caitlin,” Oliver said, giving her a bit of a smirk. “You’re finding her now.”

“That’s to say we’ve found her,” Caitlin said, but Cisco shouted once more, jumping out of his chair.

“Got you this time, you little minx!”

Felicity looked repulsed. “Really? ‘Minx,’ Cisco?” He shrugged.

Caitlin checked the satellite imaging. Oliver watched her face intently as she studied the readout. She gave him a curt nod.

“I’ll go get Barry,” Joe said, patting Oliver on the arm and heading toward the speed lab.

“Cisco,” Oliver said. Cisco looked up, eyebrows arched. “I’m going to need a bow.”

Cisco just grinned.

 

“I’m just saying, it could be useful,” Cisco argued as he, Caitlin, Oliver, Joe, and Barry lined up for a breach jump. Cisco and Barry were fully suited up, while Oliver and Caitlin were in street clothes with a couple of _accessories_ , including a bow and quiver for Oliver and snowflake pendant for Caitlin. Joe had already drawn his gun. Felicity manned the comms, a serious glint in her eye.

Oliver huffed. “I am _not_ putting a ‘boxing glove arrow’ in my quiver, Cisco.”

“But what if you have to press a button from really far away?” Cisco asked.

Oliver turned and looked at Cisco, his stare stony and unamused.

Shying away, Cisco gave Barry a nervous glance. “This is the guy you’re in love with?”

A growl from Oliver’s direction. “ _Cisco._ ”

“Yup!” Cisco punched at the air, opening a breach in front of them. Heart pounding in his ears, Barry leaped into the breach alongside his allies.

As everyone’s feet hit the ground, Barry immediately noticed some aspects of their surroundings. Urban. Pedestrian. Lots of similar, level buildings lining the roads. And off in the distance-

“Is that Big Ben?” Barry asked, eyes wide. He swiveled around, taking in his surroundings. “Are we in London?”

“Her signature wasn’t far from here,” Cisco said, looking at the screen of a small monitor on his wrist. Checking his surroundings, he pointed. “There. That set of apartments.”

The lightning sparked as Barry surged off, leaving the others to sprint after him. Oliver fired a tether arrow up into the upper levels of the nearby buildings, swinging his way up onto the rooftop. Joe, Cisco, and Caitlin stuck together on the lower levels, covering as many exits from the apartments as they could manage, thanks to Joe’s direction.

“Hey, was that the Flash just now?” Caitlin heard someone ask. She looked over her shoulder and saw a gaggle of people on the far side of the street staring in their direction. Her stomach turned cold as she realized the potential collateral of having a breaching fight in the middle of London, even if it was late at night.

“We’ve got company,” Cisco announced, his gaze fixed on the onlookers.

“I’ll handle it,” Caitlin said, her hair paling to a frosty white blonde and her eyes flickering to a brilliant, steely blue. Frost walked out into the street and faced down the spectators. “Hey, redcoats! This is a private function. Be good and scram, would ya?” She held up a hand emanating with sublimation. “And be quiet about it.”

The gaggle of people suddenly remembered they all collectively had left the tap running, and vacated the street. Frost smirked and rolled her eyes before returning to her post.

“Barry?” Oliver pressed his earpiece, but nothing came back. It wasn’t responding at all. They had no way to know what was going on inside, other than the fact that the building wasn’t lighting up like a bad Christmas tree from Barry’s lightning. A pit forming in his stomach, Oliver ran to the far side of the roof and surveyed the other side of the building. Off to one corner, he saw Joe peeking around, watching the entrances of the building on two sides. Otherwise, Oliver just saw a few cars in the street and a handful of pedestrians. Considering it had been pretty late in the States when they’d breached, Oliver was surprised to see anyone out and about in the UK.

“Guys, come in.” Felicity sounded worried.

“Felicity, go ahead,” Oliver replied.

He heard a sigh from the other end. “It took me a second to bounce our comms off of a satellite over the UK. There’s going to be a little delay, but you should be able to hear each other now.”

That was music to Oliver’s ears. “Barry?”

Two seconds later: “Ollie.” He sounded upset. “Ollie, she’s not here.”

The hair on Oliver’s neck stood on end. He dodged to the side just in time to have a blast of near-transparent energy fly by him. Rolling to the side, Oliver reared up on one knee, arrow knocked on his bow. He stared across the rooftop to Portal, fuming over her missed shot. Iris was prone at her side, bound and squirming against her restraints. She craned her head back and looked over at Oliver, her mouth gagged and her eyes wide with fear.

“Portal, let Iris go,” Oliver shouted, making sure Barry could hear him.

Portal cocked her head and wagged a finger at him. A breach appeared at her feet, and she kicked Iris forward, as if to throw her in. Without any hesitation, Oliver loosed a tethered arrow directly at Iris, embedding its point into the ropes binding her feet. The tether pulled taut as Iris slipped into the breach, but the man on the other end of the line pulled hard, stopping her descent, her feet still visible inside the swirling energy.

In a flash of light, Barry was up on the roof and had Portal bound with dampener cuffs, causing her breach to destabilize. Oliver pulled with all his might, managing to clear Iris out of the event horizon of the wormhole before it collapsed. She was visibly shaking and blood trickled from between the ropes at her ankle. Her rescuer took Portal from Barry, who kneeled down and undid Iris’s bindings. Her ankles were red and bruised from the pulling of the wormhole versus Oliver’s tether, and the arrow had nicked her skin, causing some minor bleeding, but she was otherwise unharmed. Barry helped her sit up and hugged her tight, focusing on her solid form in his arms. He could feel her shaking as she quietly sobbed, her arms wrapped tightly around his torso.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there,” Barry whispered into her hair. “Iris, I’m so, so sorry.”

“I knew you would come,” Iris sobbed into his shoulder. “But I was so scared. I didn’t know what world I was on, or how long it would take you to find me.” She looked up at him, tears streaking her face. “I knew you would come for me, Barry.” She smiled weakly. “But I was still so scared.”

Barry shushed her and hugged her tighter. “It’s okay. Scared is good. Scared keeps us alive. I’m just glad Oliver was here.”

Iris looked up to see their friend pass overhead with Portal in tow. “Thank you,” she said, smiling up at him. Oliver nodded down at her, a kindness in his eyes that Iris wasn’t sure she’d seen before.

“Pathetic, but touching all the same,” Portal spat. Oliver shook her by the shoulders. “Hey! Watch it, Robin Hood.”

“Yeah, no, you’re done.” Oliver shoved her forward and led her off the roof, an arrow in his free hand like it was a dagger. She didn’t say much else.

A few minutes later, Cisco, Caitlin, and Joe appeared on the roof, each with a variation of the same concerned expression. Iris assured them all that she was fine, but still they doted on her as if she were some damsel in distress. She supposed she was, this time.

She felt terrible for admitting that.

 

With everyone safely back in Central City, and Portal given up directly to Gypsy herself, everyone was finally allowed to relax. Of course, that meant laying about STAR Labs and celebrating their catch.

Considering the bruising and small hole in Iris’s ankle, Caitlin had insisted that Iris allow her to evaluate her condition before leaving the lab. Begrudgingly, she had agreed, but the upside was that Barry had been allowed to stay by the cot while the good doctor worked.

“Okay. Everything seems okay. No leftover dark matter or tachyon precipitates, only mild bruising and that little puncture wound from Oliver’s arrow,” Caitlin assessed, putting a supportive hand on her patient’s shoulder. “You’re good to go whenever, Iris. I’d probably take it easy for tonight, though, yeah?”

Iris smiled as she reached up and put her hand on Caitlin’s. “Thank you. I wasn’t worried, but thank you anyway.” Her friend pulled away from her and left Iris alone with Barry, the lights of the med lab surrounding them.

The warmth of Barry’s hands on her own gave the journalist a sense of security she hadn’t felt in some time - not before all the romantic shenanigans had begun, at the least. “I love you, Barry.” The words were simple, but her smile was genuine. She looked him in the eye, this time with fondness and joy in place of fear. He smiled back, making those little crinkles around his eyes that Iris adored.

“I love you, too, Iris.” He squeezed her hand, and she returned in kind. “Get some rest. You can even stay here, if you want. Or I can.” His smile had disappeared, and Iris saw the panic setting in. In his mind, she had still refused him. It was a problem she had to rectify _this instant_.

“Barry, stop,” she said, her eyes serious. “We’re going to go home together, and we’re going to sleep in the same bed for the first time all week.”

Confusion muddled Barry’s expression. “But I thought-”

“I know. And I’m sorry.” She sat up as tall as she could on the cot and brought Barry’s hand up for her to kiss. “I said terrible things to you earlier, and I said them out of jealousy and fear. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

Barry shook his head, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. “Iris, I don’t think there’s a thing in this world - or any other - that you could do that I wouldn’t forgive.”

Mischief played across Iris’s face. “Oh? So I can go on a killing spree?”

They laughed, and it was as if the entire past twenty-four hours melted away. They were once again Barry and Iris, the West-Allens.

“So,” Barry said, looking down at their intertwining fingers, “what does that say about Oliver?”

There was a sigh somewhere in there, but Iris forced it back. This was not the time for overt displays of exhaustion or strain. “Oliver makes you happy, Barry. He’s a bundle of problems, and his life is not the kind of life I’d necessarily want you around all the time, but you love him, and he loves you. And I’m done trying to pretend.” She smiled. “I’m insanely jealous of the way you two look at each other, even though I know you look at me the same exact way. It’s stupid, and childish, and all the things that society has told me I should be, but I can’t look at you, so stupidly in love, and deny you him.”

Sitting up slightly, Barry’s heart began to beat harder in his chest. “You mean you’ll stay with me? With us?”

Iris looked across the room, to where Oliver had propped himself up against the entryway into the med lab, Felicity smiling from right beside him. She smiled at him, and he smiled back at her. “If he’ll allow me. I know I have some adjusting to do, but Felicity can help me with that.” She looked back at her husband, a tear in her eye. “With the right amount of patience and understanding, I will try to give you everything you want, Barry Allen, and that includes myself _and_ Oliver Queen.”

Barry looked over at Oliver, eyes wide with anticipation. “What do you say, Ollie?”

The other man crossed the med lab in but a few steps and put his hand on Barry’s shoulder, his eyes kind and warm. Iris could see the love in them, the desire to protect. “This isn’t my decision, Barry. It never was. From the beginning, I told you this was up to you.”

Leaning into Oliver’s touch, Barry closed his eyes for a moment. Iris waited with baited breath, her heart hammering in her ears. Finally, Barry opened his eyes and looked her straight in the eye, a content smile on his face. “Well then, I accept your apology, Iris. Welcome home.”

The two of them leaned in and Barry gave Iris a lingering, gentle kiss, both of them smiling as they pulled apart. Barry felt Oliver’s grip on his shoulder tighten, a symbol of his support. Felicity joined them, leaning into Oliver and wrapping herself around his free arm. As they sat there, the four of them content, the world seemed for once to be at peace.

 

 

_EPILOGUE_

 

 

High heels splashed through a shallow puddle on the sidewalk as they approached the parked vehicle alongside the road. “C’mon! We’re going to be _late_!” Felicity opened the door of the car and settled in, scooting to the far side so Oliver could join her while adjusting the brilliantly blue dress she sported. “Let’s go! Let’s go, let’s go!”

“Would you calm down?” Oliver cried, dusting off the loose raindrops still attached to the shoulders of his suit jacket. “It’s just dinner!”

“This is _not_ just dinner, Oliver. It’s our first date as an extended couple.”

“It’s just a double date, Felicity, I don’t see what the big deal is.”

Felicity sat in stunned silence, her mouth slightly agape. She crossed her arms and shook her head. “Okay, Mister Snark, who are you going on this date with? Hm? Me, or Barry?”

Oliver balked at this. Was there a correct answer here?

“That’s what I thought,” Felicity snapped. “This is more than a double date, Oliver. This is the first time that you and Barry are going to be public around Iris _in public_ , and it’s going to make waves. You’re _Mayor_ . And _married_ , don’t forget. This is going to get headlines across like five states, maybe more.”

A chuckle escaped Felicity’s lips. “You are way too worked up about this,” he said. “I’ve been public with Barry in both Central and Star Cities with almost no media attention.”

“Except the tabloids,” Felicity muttered. “That was a fun one to explain to William.”

“He seemed to support it after we told him,” Oliver mentioned. “He even seemed to like the idea of having Barry around. A lot. Did you tell him Barry was the Flash, by the way?”

Felicity feigned ignorance, clearing her throat and looking out the window at the buildings whizzing by.

After a couple of minutes, the chauffeur drew the car to a stop outside a well-to-do restaurant not far from City Hall. The Queens emerged from their transport and made their way inside, a couple of paparazzi following closely.

“Odd that they knew where we’d be,” Oliver whispered as they entered through the large glass double doors at the front of the building.

“Mayor Queen, Miss Smoak, this way.” They were immediately directed to a much more private room, although the table they were ushered to was not the only one with important-looking people seated around it. Barry and Iris were already there, seated at a table near the middle of the room. As soon as Barry noticed them entering, he stood up politely and moved to take out Felicity’s chair, seated on the other side of Iris.

“Thank you, Mr. Allen,” Felicity said with a jovial bob of her head. He grinned as she sat down. Then, Barry moved to take out Oliver’s chair, his grin spread even further.

Oliver couldn’t keep a straight face. “Thank you, Barry. That’s very kind of you.” He seated himself, allowing Barry to return to his spot at the table. Iris smiled across the table at them.

“You guys look great,” she said. “And I’m sorry about the paparazzi. I might have mentioned going on a double date with the Mayor of Star City to some journalist friends, and I guess word got around.”

“See? Double date,” Oliver whispered as he leaned toward his wife with a smirk. Felicity absently smacked him in the arm.

He straightened himself in his seat, smiling over at his company. “Ah, that’s alright. And you look lovely yourself, Iris.”

“What about me?” Barry pouted.

The paparazzi outside the somewhat tinted windows were too far away to get a clear shot, but it sure looked like the Mayor of Star City had just reached his hand across the table to take the hand of the other man across from him, smiles plastered across both of their faces.

“You look amazing, too, Barry.” The man blushed, his grin spread from ear to ear. He took Oliver’s hand and closed his fingers around it, the rest of the world slipping away until only his table and the people seated at it remained. Iris looked upon their clasped hands with a content expression, a warmth billowing up in her chest from seeing her husband happier than he’d been in months.

Once the garcon had provided them with champagne, Iris raised her flute. “I would like to propose a toast,” she said through a dazzlingly bright smile. The other three took their own glasses and raised them in a similar fashion.

Iris looked down at her champagne flute with an air of deliberation about her, then she grinned over at Barry. “I know we’ve been scattered, and our lives have been so very complicated since _all this_ began, but I find myself very optimistic. I didn’t know what all to expect when I agreed to this arrangement, but it was certainly not a happier home life, a safer work life, and more movie nights than I can shake a stick at.” The laughter around the table was not fake. “So tonight, I’d like to toast to love, in all its forms, but especially the kind of love that can’t be held back. The actual, real kind of love, that compromises and sacrifices and encompasses everything about you. The kind of love that gives and gives, and never stops. Because we all have felt that kind of love, and we’re feeling that kind of love right now. To love.”

“To love,” the others said, and they toasted with the crystalline sound of glass flutes.

Barry felt Oliver’s fingers tighten on his, and he looked over at the other man, his eyebrows raised in curiosity. Oliver’s face was _different_ than Barry had seen before. He’d seen happy Oliver, sad, Oliver, plenty of _mad_ Oliver, but _content -_ content Oliver was new.

“To love,” Oliver said again, and he lifted Barry’s hand to his mouth and kissed it, his eyes never blinking or glancing away from his beau’s. The leaner man smiled, ignoring the flashing lights of cameras outside, and returned the kiss to Oliver’s hand.

All smiles, all content, the world just felt _right._

Because it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for sticking with me through this, my first-ever "slow burn," and the longest completed fanfiction I think I've written in my life. Turns out it wasn't a terribly slow burn, but you know what? Experience is the greatest teacher. I learned a lot over the course of writing this story, and I look forward to writing and learning a lot more.
> 
> Small shout out to the people over on the Flarrowverse Shipyard server for helping me evaluate bits and pieces of this, as well as encouraging so strongly for me to continue. I probably would have stopped around chapter 3 if it weren't for you guys.
> 
> I have a lot of things I would love to talk about regarding writing this piece, but honestly, I think I've droned on long enough. I will continue writing for the Arrowverse for the foreseeable future, as long as I enjoy doing it.
> 
> Again, thank you for reading, and I hope to see you in the comments or elsewhere on Ao3!


End file.
